More Music Therapy

Today, two of my good friends debuted a new video on youtube. With all that is going on in life and the frustration of waiting in a hospital, feeling weaker, tired, away from my wife and daughter, Jon Schmidt and Steven Sharp Nelson's new video put a smile on my face. Thanks guys!

Music Therapy & Good Friends

I've always believed music has the power to change our lives and empower our mental capacity for good. My former business partner and good friend Jeremy Barron spends his time devoted to blessing other people's lives. He invited a few of our friends in the Utah music scene to my hospital room for a few hours of laughter and music.

Joining me and my wife were Peter Breinholt, Ryan Shupe, Sam Payne, Russ & Kindee Dixon, Charley Jenkins, and my favorite female vocalist Mindy Gledhill.

Thought I would share with you some brief video from an intimate night of friends and music that I'll never forget. I am forever indebted to friends. I've said many times doctors have the ability and skills to heal your body but friends heal your mind and transport you from your suffering.





Incidentally, the first tune on my playlist "All About You" from my friend Mindy Gledhill is not available. She was kind enough to put the tune on playlist.com because it has special meaning for me and Lynnette, particularly Mindy's words, "I've loved you from the start in every single way, and more each passing day. You are brighter than the stars. Believe me when I say it's not about your scars... It's all about your heart."

In The News: Fifth story in an occasional series

Musician waits for heart transplant
By Carrie A. Moore | Photos by Jeffrey D. Allred, Deseret News

Deseret News
Published: Sunday, Aug. 23, 2009

Editor's note: This is the fifth story in an occasional series

Paul Cardall has been waiting for the phone to ring for an entire year.

Not that the musician doesn't take calls from family and friends on a daily basis, but those calls are different. They keep his emotions and his spirit healthy.

The one call he's waiting for will say it's time to replace his own failing heart with that of another, whose family will then be broken-hearted.

There will be gratitude and silent rejoicing on one end of the line, with sadness and mourning on the other. As much as he prays for that family, he can't change the reality that his chance for a future with his wife and 3-year-old daughter will come because someone else dies.

Born with congenital heart disease, Cardall, 36, was first listed for a heart transplant last August after years of surgeries.

Speaking with the Deseret News at Primary Children's Medical Center, where his transplant will take place, he reflected on a year of knowing that his future depends largely on factors he has no control over. Pediatric heart surgeons will replace his diseased heart when the time comes, because they've been treating.... Continue Reading the Article

Radio Interviews and Sacred Piano

With all that’s transpired this past year I’ve put aside my music career to focus on family and getting a new heart. I have been able to maintain contact with fans in newsletters, including consulting a few musicians. Nonetheless, it's been difficult and a financial challenge as a father to put work on hold.

In the beginning I canceled a little over 20 gigs not knowing if I’d be available. In addition, I stepped away from the recording studio. My self run instrumental label Stone Angel Music released only 1 record from guitarist Ryan Tilby.

And yet, musically, I couldn’t be more full of emotion and appreciation. It’s as though music is flowing so deeply inside of me as to burst forth into symphonies offering praise to God for His kindness and mercy amidst suffering. He has taken good care of my little family. It's hard to sit still and not share something.

I'm grateful to Shadow Mountain Records. They reached out to me earlier this year in an effort to keep sharing my music. As a result, this past week they've released an album called Sacred Piano on my behalf. It's been interesting to sit back and let them do all of the work.

Sacred Piano came out of my desire to share 15 of my most personal songs from my 15-year career in relation to this sobering experience. The album features original and arranged piano compositions. In addition, while at home I was able to record three new pieces on my old grand piano for the CD, which include Gracie’s Theme, Amazing Grace, and Were You There?

This past week I had a couple of radio interviews over the phone from Primary Children’s Medical Center. We discussed everything from how I feel about waiting for a heart transplant to recording music.

I wanted to share these conversations with you in an effort to lift your day and give you hope in your own bright future. God can work miracles. It might not be a physical cure to a physical challenge but rather a spiritual change of heart within each of us. He has done this for me.

Interview with Steven Kapp Perry on The Cricket & Seagull Fireside Chat
LISTEN TO THE INTERVIEW

Interview with KSL Radio’s “People of Faith with Carole Mikita”
LISTEN TO THE INTERVIEW

More information on Sacred Piano visit:
http://www.paulcardall.com

An Inspiring Man: Gary Ceran

I read an extremely inspiring column in yesterday's newspaper about Gary Ceran whose family I was fortunate to help two years ago as part of a benefit concert with other musicians.

Blessed by adversity: Utah man refuses to wallow in past

by Lee Benson Deseret News | Published: Tuesday, Aug. 18, 2009

"Life. It throws change-ups. And nobody is exempt. No one wins them all. Or were you not watching what happened to Tiger Woods on Sunday?

Gary Ceran has seen his share of ups and downs. He's lost three children to cancer. He's lost twins to premature birth. He's lost businesses to the economy. And that was before his wife Cheryl and children Ian and Julianna were killed when a drunken driver plowed into the family car on Christmas Eve in 2006.

Only Gary and son Caleb and daughter Clarissa survived — all that remains of the family that could have been, should have been, 11.

I ran into Gary Ceran this past week. Almost literally. I was walking around a downtown corner, and there he was in the middle of the sidewalk, offering me a free Italian ice sample.

Continue Reading

One Year on the Waiting List | Miracles

As an adult I am beginning to know the meaning of St. Paul’s words to the Romans, “We glory in tribulations… Knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope.” It is true. I have been blessed my whole life to have severe congenital heart disease. I am far from perfect and needed this in my life to teach me things I could have never learned without it. As a result, I am a witness of God’s hand in our lives. I’ve observed many miracles in my own.

Last Wednesday I was admitted to the pediatric intensive care unit to begin receiving additional milrinone and nutrients intravenously. I’m also beginning some physical therapy.

These changes are an effort to help my organs hold steady so my body is prepared for the challenging transplant. In addition, I am getting some much-needed rest.

Thank you for all of your love! Our little family feels it so strongly... And with all that is transpiring we'll need your faith and prayers even more. A few days ago doctors shared with me tests results from my esophagogastroduodenoscopy. Doctors are theoretically concerned that there could be some excessive bleeding which may or may not be controllable during the transplant operation. It’s statistically serious because with each individual transplant surgery blood must be thinned with heparin for a lengthy time so patients don’t throw a clot and have a major stroke.

I have always believed someone greater than all of us runs the show. I’ve witnessed too many miraculous events to believe otherwise. I’ve also felt such comforting and peaceful emotions during hard times, which are unexplainable in words. I can’t deny feelings.

My friend and author Richard Paul Evans said of God, “If we looked at life as a ball game, God is not an umpire who sits and looks for failure. He’s more like the father in the stands cheering us on.”

Philosopher and spiritual leader Neal A. Maxwell wrote, “God loves us and, loving us, has placed us here to cope with challenges which he will place before us. I'm not sure we can always understand the implications of his love, because his love will call us at times to do things we may wonder about, and we may be confronted with circumstances we would rather not face. I believe with all my heart that because God loves us there are some particularized challenges that he will deliver to each of us. He will customize the curriculum for each of us in order to teach us the things we most need to know. He will set before us in life what we need, not always what we like. And this will require us to accept with all our hearts--particularly your generation--the truth that there is divine design in each of our lives and that you have rendezvous to keep with destiny, individually and collectively.”

For me, God has been extremely generous, kind and loving. I am surrounded by such love and support from family, friends, and strangers whom I see as brothers and sisters. I ache for others without such love to feel that same strength and power. Doctors have the skills to heal the body. Friends and family have the power to heal my mind.

My God and your God has provided me with a wonderful medical team who He can inspire. They are schooled and prepared to work miracles. And through them, I know God can perform many wonderful things according to His will and the faith of those who believe in Him.

And so at this time I humbly ask each of you to please pray for my gifted and skilled medical team of doctors, surgeons, nurses, technicians, and more at Primary Children’s Medical Center.

“I am a witness of His miracles and his mercy. I put my future in his hands knowing he's made me all I am. I put my faith in him and truth begins to speak. His power is real and it moves me until I will not be still.”

Photos: Top: With Eden in the P.I.C.U. / Middle: Rockin in the P.I.C.U. / Bottom: Standing in front of the painting of George Veasy, M.D. my childhood doctor. / Very Bottom: And a video of me and Eden

Thank you for your support!

I can't thank all of you enough for your prayers, thoughts, lighting a candle, friendship, and love. I saw this video today and thought of you. "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one," said C.S. Lewis.

Family Reunion

Our family enjoyed a reunion in Park City, Utah. As expected the gathering was not the same without the presence of my younger brother Brian who passed away last June. His beautiful pregnant wife Anna and spirited daughter Ava joined us and we mobbed them with love.

With all that has transpired in our lives, our Cardall family was still able to gather in humility, love, friendship. We also had a lot of laughter.

After the reunion our family went to the Salt Lake City to set a temporary headstone on Brian’s grave. I say temporary because the city requires the ground to settle before the grave receives a permanent tombstone.

My younger brother David and Dad built a cement base. As the cement settled, Brian's wife Anna had Ava did a hand and foot print in the cement along with the words inscribed “I Love You Daddy.”

I wish people had what I've been fortunate to enjoy. Along with the overwhelming love I feel from my gorgeous wife Lynnette and sweet daughter Eden, my parents are still together and they love each other.

"In a world of turmoil and uncertainty, it is more important than ever to make our families the center of our lives and the top of our priorities," said L. Tom Perry

BlessMyLife.org

I received an e-mail worth sharing with you from my good friend's Rob & Alexis Duffin. Together Rob and his wife have created an uplifting website about the daily miracles in our lives. (As a studio engineer Rob's worked on several of my recordings. I appreciate his optimism.) www.blessmylife.org

To Our Friends:

We were recently exposed to yet another website that provides people with an outlet for blogging about negative life experiences. Though the intent of that site is meant to be humorous, it only increased our desire for a medium that inspires positive thinking. Blessings seem to be more abundant when we recognize them with gratitude.

We are excited to introduce our site, Bless My Life, Where Miracles Are a Daily Occurrence (www.blessmylife.org).

We have created this site to provide you with a place to share your daily miracles and blessings. We hope that by providing you with a place to share your daily, life-enhancing moments that more of these moments will be recognized in all of our lives.

We’re excited to have a positive force for good in the world and we invite you to be a part of it!

Love, Rob and Alexis Duffin
www.blessmylife.org

Did you just say esophagogastroduodenoscopy?

If my toddler read this entry she would probably ask if I learned it watching “Sid the Science Kid.” Unfortunately, when it comes to medicine I learn from experience.

The twice-daily lovenox shots I shied away from almost 8 months ago are now as painless as brushing your teeth. Designers of the insulin just need to sharpen the needles to get through thickening scar tissue. And so it goes with lab work, tests, and now minor outpatient surgery.

Cardiologists Melanie Everitt and Angela Yetman have been concerned about possible esophageal varices, which are extremely dilated sub-mucosal veins in my lower esophagus. They are most often a consequence of portal hypertension, commonly due to cirrhosis; patients with esophageal varices have a strong tendency to develop bleeding. It would make an already difficult transplant recovery much more challenging.

And so this past Monday I underwent a minor outpatient procedure referred to as an upper gastrointestinal test or esophagogastroduodenoscopy. Can you believe that word? You would think Mary Poppins had made it up.

Nonetheless, Dr. Dan Jackson at Primary Children’s Medical Center in Salt Lake City, Utah performs these all of the time and pronounces the word perfectly.

I walked into the operating room, laid flat on the narrow table a top what I call a patient's Tempur-Pedic mattress. I enjoyed some brief conversation with a few of the surgical nurses while a gifted anesthesiologist put me to sleep. I probably didn't get to finish what I was saying. Nonetheless, it was not very important.

While subdued, Dr. Jackson inserted a tube down my throat into my stomach. He pushed a minature camera in a pill form through me. Fortunately, he found no major concerns. There are a few varices in the lower third of my esophagus but nothing that needed banding.

While subdued Dr. Everitt was kind enough to arrange the removal of my existing picc line and reinsert in the same vein a double lumen picc so I can begin receiving nutritional formulas containing salts, glucose, amino acids, lipids and added vitamins this coming week. It is called total parenteral nutrition (TPN) and will help my body stay tuned up for major surgery.

Earlier that day my father Duane and wife Lynnette volunteered to keep me company. We’ve been through this before and so they came equipped with laptops and books to keep them busy.

I often feel sorry for the many parents who’ve come for the first time with nothing to do but pace the floor and watch Hanna Montana on the children’s hospital network television. Of course, I’m not sure what’s worse? Having surgery, or watching Zac & Cody on Disney channel and learning how suite their life is?

As of today, my sore throat is gone. But, at some point, I bit my lip and developed a few canker sores. No matter, I'm very pleased with the results and the procedure was practically painless.

Gracie's Theme: Music Video

Share the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVaaRx1-kSs

When I was born with my congenital heart defect in 1973 my parents almost lost me. Today, according to the American Heart Association, heart defects account for an average of 30% of all birth defect related deaths. No one should have to lose a child. And yet, these hard things happen daily.

Many years ago I was fortunate to travel with Richard Paul Evans' who wrote the #1 New York Times best-selling book The Christmas Box inspired by parents who've loss children. He had invited me to compose an album of piano music inspired by his work. Together as we toured the country I met thousands of parents who've experienced the death of a child or several children. It's a cross so hard and difficult to bear I'm not sure I can truly understand the depth or pain of such a thing. Needless to say, those who’ve crossed that difficult road and climbed that impossible mountain inspire me. They are some of the most kind, compassionate, humble, and open people I know.

Tom and Michele Gledhill are one such family. They dealt with congenital heart disease even before Gracie Jean was born on March 20, 2008. Their journey of ups and downs in fighting to keep their daughter alive by whatever means is a powerful example of love, hope, and faith. And although Gracie passed away on March 2, 2009 after a difficult heart transplant the Gledhills know she has returned to a loving God.

Gracie's brief mortal life empowers her family and those who knew her with virtues of humility, strength, compassion, openness, understanding, and a love for others. Their daughter was an angel, a gift, sent by God to bless lives.

What do I take away from knowing families like the Gledhills? Never give up! Never quit! Never lose sight of having faith in God. And in the end, if any of us are called home to the God who gave us life, before what some may call our time, can we declare, "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith!"

It is with the uptmost respect and love that I share this montage of home movies and pictures from the Gledhill family. Their path reflects so many other families. I want to thank Michele and Tom for sharing their story with us. The video is set to "Gracie's Theme" which I wrote shortly after Gracie's passing.

I dedicate this video to every family who has lost a child.