Music Therapy & Good Friends

I've always believed music has the power to change our lives and empower our mental capacity for good. My former business partner and good friend Jeremy Barron spends his time devoted to blessing other people's lives. He invited a few of our friends in the Utah music scene to my hospital room for a few hours of laughter and music.

Joining me and my wife were Peter Breinholt, Ryan Shupe, Sam Payne, Russ & Kindee Dixon, Charley Jenkins, and my favorite female vocalist Mindy Gledhill.

Thought I would share with you some brief video from an intimate night of friends and music that I'll never forget. I am forever indebted to friends. I've said many times doctors have the ability and skills to heal your body but friends heal your mind and transport you from your suffering.





Incidentally, the first tune on my playlist "All About You" from my friend Mindy Gledhill is not available. She was kind enough to put the tune on playlist.com because it has special meaning for me and Lynnette, particularly Mindy's words, "I've loved you from the start in every single way, and more each passing day. You are brighter than the stars. Believe me when I say it's not about your scars... It's all about your heart."

Thank you for your support!

I can't thank all of you enough for your prayers, thoughts, lighting a candle, friendship, and love. I saw this video today and thought of you. "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one," said C.S. Lewis.

My Apology & Our Rocking Chairs

Please forgive me for not responding to your considerate comments, kind expressions, and wonderful messages. I have read each one with great appreciation and sincere humility.

The past month has been a bittersweet experience. My brother’s death knocked the wind right out of me. Because of that I’ve chosen to focus more intently on my family and their needs. I love and admire every one of you. Thank you for your friendship.

In lieu of our situation I said to my wife, “Go out and by our rocking chairs. I don’t want to wait to grow old with you. I would love to sit with you on the porch today!”

Lynnette brought home two beautiful chairs. The only problem is that we need a third chair for Eden. My sweet little girl is jealous and wants her own chair. She cracks me up. And so, tomorrow we’ll start looking for a third chair. The store evidently sold us the last two black rocking chairs. I'm sure we can find a pink one for our little diva.

The Blessings of Christmas

Two months ago all I could do is lay around because doctors were trying to figure out how to get my heart failure under control. I was in need of a serious tune up.

Whether it's a consequence or not, I was humbled to learn that my family, friends, fans of my music, and those I don't even know began praying for me.

I want everyone to know that God is good to me and loves you because for the past two weeks, as we get closer to Christmas I have felt great. Not 100%, but well enough to get out a few ours each day. Well enough, to make gingerbread houses with my kid. Well enough to laugh and enjoy this time of year. And it's because of prayer and the wisdom of my doctors that I am tuned up for a time. And what better time than Christmas!

Prayer is gift. Life is a gift. Family is a gift. And I am more than happy this particular time of year to celebrate the Birth of our Lord.

Happy Thanksgiving!

At this time of year I am extremely thankful to all of you for your thoughts, prayers, and fasting. I am at peace with my health and look forward to living the next chapter of my life. But, I'm so happy to be feeling better than I was several weeks ago when all I was doing was laying down on the couch, in bed, or in the hospital.

This time of year is very meaningful to all of us and I am happy to have most of my family in town to help them enjoy my favorite meal; Cooked Turkey wings or legs, Mashed Potatoes, Gravy, Stuffing, Veggies, and Pumpkin Pie.

God is so good to us even if we are going through difficult times. Incidentally, I was able to go to my Church this past weekend. After not attending for several months I forgot how special the feeling is when I go there. The warmth of people who love God and their love and friendship for each other is something I wish everyone could enjoy. I know God loves us and we can feel that peace from Him during our trials if we work within ourselves to let Him in. From my experience it's expressing and focusing on our pure gratitude and thanksgiving of all the things in our lives regardless of our difficult circumstances that brings His love.

Good News!

We got a call this morning from Latoya informing us that I am now listed for a new heart. Man, it is kind of wild. . . sobering. . . and surreal. . .

On Friday I get a pager and if the batteries work they'll contact me at anytime. It might be 2 weeks up to 1 year. The heart needs to come come from at least 50 miles from Intermountain Medical Center in Murray, Utah. When they have a potential great match for my body the pager goes off and I head to the hospital with my 72 hour kit (or things I want to have for recovery). I have one hour to get there. In the meantime a thoracic surgeon travels to where the new heart is and carefully removes it from the donor. He or she will have a good idea from there if it will be a perfect match and if so they prep me for surgery. The thoracic surgeon brings the new heart to the hospital where Dr. John Doty will carefully remove my bad heart. Incidentally, he is the son of Donald Doty who did my 2 previous open heart surgeries where I almost died. So, I know I am in good hands. (The father has worked on the engine and can tell his son what is in there.)

This is a very difficult surgery because of my heart's anatomy. And there will be a lot of scar tissue from the surgeries I had early in my life. Finding the good tissue among the bad will be tough. He has to cut in the right places.

We have every confidence in the transplant team and in Dr. John Doty. He is a man of faith and said to me personally, "We will not lose you!"

Please pray for my wife Lynnette and daughter Eden. Pray for Dr. John Doty and his team who will determine the best heart for me. And most of all pray for the family whose sacrifice and tragedy will bless our family. I may never meet them or know of their loss.

What gives me comfort and peace? The love I feel from my wife, family, and friends. Thanks to all of you we literally feel the arms of God around us.

I also find great comfort in my faith. I know that God lives. Jesus is the Christ. He is my friend. Life is part of a three act play. We are now experiencing the challenges of the 2nd act. In time, all of us will begin act three as we wait for the resurrection made possible by Jesus Christ overcoming death himself. All of us receive that gift.

Some of us may need a physical transplant but we must also, all of us, experience a spiritual transplant. I strive for that every day of my life because I know I am far from perfect in kindness and friendship. But, through faith, repentance, and baptism we may begin the process of having spiritual heart transplant made possible by the suffering of our Savior in Gethsemane and on the Cross.

We all have are own challenges. . . I'm content. I could always be living in the country Georgia with Russians dropping bombs on my home or in Dar-fur with all my family and friends brutally murdered by genocide. . . . etc. etc. or even worse I could be considered a friend of Michael Jackson, Paris Hilton, or Brittany Spears.

Possible Heart Transplant

Hi family & friends,

A little more boring news "all about me" . . but, I want you to know what is going on and encourage you to keep most of all my wife Lynnette, daughter Eden, and me in your prayers (along with everyone else in the world that needs our prayers). We could really use the help.

After reviewing my tests from last week's procedure which was difficult to recover from doctors told us today what needs to happen. . Transplant if I qualify. This Thursday I will meet with the heart & lung transplant team to begin further testing and discussion to determine if I do qualify for the heart transplant. There are a lot of details. Most of the doctors in our community familiar with my case believe I should have the transplant as soon as possible because of how damaged my right atrium is. Blood is just swirling around in there like and having a hard time leaving to the lungs for oxygen. There is another more difficult option but it was ruled out because my body is not strong enough. Regardless by the end of the year I may be having major open heart surgery. . . If I get a transplant there are good chances of living a little longer and enjoying all of you.

A little wild! This is very sobering for us at this time but we have hope and faith in God's great plan of happiness. Leaving the hospital everything outside seemed more beautiful and the music on the radio felt more alive. All is well in Zion!! Pray for our little family.

WE LOVE ALL OF YOU AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP & LOVE!!!

paul


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"Dearly dearly has he loved.
And we must love him to.
And trust in his redeeming blood
And try his works to do."
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