Music Therapy & Good Friends

I've always believed music has the power to change our lives and empower our mental capacity for good. My former business partner and good friend Jeremy Barron spends his time devoted to blessing other people's lives. He invited a few of our friends in the Utah music scene to my hospital room for a few hours of laughter and music.

Joining me and my wife were Peter Breinholt, Ryan Shupe, Sam Payne, Russ & Kindee Dixon, Charley Jenkins, and my favorite female vocalist Mindy Gledhill.

Thought I would share with you some brief video from an intimate night of friends and music that I'll never forget. I am forever indebted to friends. I've said many times doctors have the ability and skills to heal your body but friends heal your mind and transport you from your suffering.





Incidentally, the first tune on my playlist "All About You" from my friend Mindy Gledhill is not available. She was kind enough to put the tune on playlist.com because it has special meaning for me and Lynnette, particularly Mindy's words, "I've loved you from the start in every single way, and more each passing day. You are brighter than the stars. Believe me when I say it's not about your scars... It's all about your heart."

In The News: Fifth story in an occasional series

Musician waits for heart transplant
By Carrie A. Moore | Photos by Jeffrey D. Allred, Deseret News

Deseret News
Published: Sunday, Aug. 23, 2009

Editor's note: This is the fifth story in an occasional series

Paul Cardall has been waiting for the phone to ring for an entire year.

Not that the musician doesn't take calls from family and friends on a daily basis, but those calls are different. They keep his emotions and his spirit healthy.

The one call he's waiting for will say it's time to replace his own failing heart with that of another, whose family will then be broken-hearted.

There will be gratitude and silent rejoicing on one end of the line, with sadness and mourning on the other. As much as he prays for that family, he can't change the reality that his chance for a future with his wife and 3-year-old daughter will come because someone else dies.

Born with congenital heart disease, Cardall, 36, was first listed for a heart transplant last August after years of surgeries.

Speaking with the Deseret News at Primary Children's Medical Center, where his transplant will take place, he reflected on a year of knowing that his future depends largely on factors he has no control over. Pediatric heart surgeons will replace his diseased heart when the time comes, because they've been treating.... Continue Reading the Article

Deseret News Article & Video

Musician awaiting heart transplant performs at Primary Children's telethon

By Carrie A. Moore
Photo by Jeffery D. Allred, Deseret News

Tuesday, June 2, 2009 11:24 p.m. MDT

Editor's note: This is the fourth story in an occasional series

Musician Paul Cardall doesn't get to the piano much anymore, but when he does, the music is straight from his heart, the tired one that needs to be replaced soon.

Two small cameo appearances last weekend during the 27th annual KSL/Primary Children's Medical Center telethon provided him a chance to give back to a hospital he's frequented so often, there's a bronze wall plaque outside the electrocardiogram lab bearing his name.

It was placed there years ago by family members, whose donation to the hospital came after he survived a Fontan surgery to treat severe congenital heart disease.

At 36, he regularly visits his doctors in the cardiology clinic at Primary Children's, despite the fact that almost all of his fellow patients are 18 or younger. Continue reading the story

What pulls me through?

(I've begun more iron infusions through my picc line which should give me boost.)

It's been a tough week. My body is tired. And I'll admit that I've been depressed at times and full of anxiety. And yet, at moments how can I feel empty? I have every reason to live and love.

What pulls me through?

Others. Family. Friends. All of you. My wife is beautiful in every way. Eden is adorable.

My former Bishop, who I served with as his executive secretary in our Church of volunteers, had his hip replaced. His recovery has been quick because he's a remarkable human being. He walked almost a mile to visit me using two forearm crutches. He's a man I admire and hope to one day be like.

Also, our neighbor who has cancer spread throughout her body, dropped off several dark red garden geraniums to add to the beauty of our yard which was spring cleaned by neighbors. They have green houses and spend time growing all kinds of vegetation. They also have a son whose had a heart transplant. She is a remarkable woman, who despite her illness, sits near us in church each week to thank God for what we have and hope for.

Another neighbor, a good man, father and husband, who has needed a liver transplant, who almost died a month ago, got a call for a liver. The surgery was a success and he is on the mend. It's a miracle. And we thank God.

When I am discouraged a tool that lifts me is music. With it's varying emotions and influence particular music pulls me through. What would the world be like without it? Pretty depressing. This past week I've been absorbing the lyrics and song from popular Christian artists MercyMe called I would die for you. The tune is on my playlist and is truly inspiring. It's as though they are singing my thoughts.

Finally, I had a great time watching the American Idol finale. I'll admit it. From a professional standpoint you can't go wrong with young newly discovered talent performing with icons Lionel Richie, KISS, Queen, Cindy Lauper, and others. The song Permanent former idol winner David Cook performed for his brother who died with a tumor was inspiring.

Forget yourself and go to work

Snow fell yesterday. I have a comfortable chair that reclines next to our bedroom window so I can look outside while I work, read, sleep, or watch television (F.Y.I., The Price is Right is pretty good these days). As I sat in my chair I heard the scrapping of snow on our driveway and looked out to see a friend, who I have not seen in months, out shoveling our snow. I called him this morning and I learned he was out of work. And yet what did he choose to do yesterday instead of sorrow in his jobless pity? He got up, put on a coat, grabbed his shovel, and served another.This friend is one example of many who have selflessly given of their time and talents to bless the lives of another even though their own circumstances are dire. Albert Einstein wrote, “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” And Gandhi declared, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

I’m grateful to the Baron Music Group whose gathered many of my colleagues and friends for a benefit concert in behalf of our family called "Living for Eden." Our friends Kurt Bestor, Peter Breinholt, Ryan Shupe & The Rubberband, Colors, and Sam Payne are all incredible artists and musicians who normally get paid to do these acts of kindness and so we are truly humbled. Several of them spent last week in Bulgaria performing for some orphanages and yet they come home to do even more for others. I can tell you that if these guys were selling cars they’d probably make a fortune. Yet, they choose to uplift and inspire through the power of music.

In my own situation, and through the years, if I’ve learned anything about life it is that in order to have true and lasting happiness (which is “joy”) you can’t wallow in your own suffering or poverty but use it to an advantage in empowering yourself to reach out to those with much greater need. “Forget yourself and go to work,” said Gordon B. Hinckley. And from Neal A. Maxwell, "God does not begin by asking us about our ability, but only about our availability, and if we then prove our dependability, he will increase our capability.”

Say a Prayer for Gracie

I have been deeply affected by a little girl named Gracie Gledhill. It has been a roller coaster ride for her sweet family whom I’ve never met. I heard about her from Leslie Cluff who lost her child to CHD. Immediately, I was drawn to Gracie’s story. Her young mother, father, 2 brothers, 1 sister, and a countless number of people have been praying for this little girl. Gracie was born with a severe congenital heart disease. After various up hill battles, hope and prayer, she was listed for a heart last Tuesday. She was placed at the top of the list under the care of my transplant physician. I witnessed a miracle when I learned Saturday night that a call came. Doctors had a heart for Gracie. Throughout the night, morning, afternoon, and into the evening, her mother updated the blog whenever they had news. I kept checking in to see what was happening.

But, today she is struggling to survive because her body is rejecting the heart. I don’t know what’s going to happen. But, I am humbled. This is a sobering experience. A great man once wrote something like, “I don’t know the meaning of all things but I know that God loves his children.”

(Picture: These machines are the ECMO. They can sustain Gracie for a a little more than a week.)

Say a prayer for the Gracie Gledhill family.

Do I miss my day job?

People keep asking me if I miss my day job? No, I don’t. At least, I haven’t until today.

I play the piano and run a small independent record label called Stone Angel Music. Our artists mostly record peaceful instrumentals. The music we produce has been a major part of my life.

It was last fall when my health began failing and doctors listed me for the transplant that I canceled a little over 20 gigs and stopped spending time promoting the music.

But, that’s the difficult part. I miss playing for people. And more particular, I miss sharing my life’s philosophy in a concert or fireside setting.

I think I’ve been blessed not to really think about it. I guess it’s the drama of the unknown and the fact that all I can think about is my wife and little girl. I want more time with them and I don’t want anything to get in the way.

I look forward to recovering from the challenging surgery. It will be a difficult road for many months. But, I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything. I am learning a great deal about life and it’s purpose. You come to understand a great deal about the character of your family, friends, and other associates.

I’m getting anxious. I want to do so much in this life and give back to those who’ve selflessly served and sacrificed time for my family and me.

And, yes, I have music in me. It’s building up. I can feel it. Hopefully, with faith, prayers, and the incredible medical team, I’ll get chance to let it out.

Oh yea, listen to some of our music.
www.stoneangelmusic.com

(This is what I do during the day now - but, I don't dress up for the gig. And, that's my wife.)

The Blessings of Christmas

Two months ago all I could do is lay around because doctors were trying to figure out how to get my heart failure under control. I was in need of a serious tune up.

Whether it's a consequence or not, I was humbled to learn that my family, friends, fans of my music, and those I don't even know began praying for me.

I want everyone to know that God is good to me and loves you because for the past two weeks, as we get closer to Christmas I have felt great. Not 100%, but well enough to get out a few ours each day. Well enough, to make gingerbread houses with my kid. Well enough to laugh and enjoy this time of year. And it's because of prayer and the wisdom of my doctors that I am tuned up for a time. And what better time than Christmas!

Prayer is gift. Life is a gift. Family is a gift. And I am more than happy this particular time of year to celebrate the Birth of our Lord.

Possible Heart Transplant

Hi family & friends,

A little more boring news "all about me" . . but, I want you to know what is going on and encourage you to keep most of all my wife Lynnette, daughter Eden, and me in your prayers (along with everyone else in the world that needs our prayers). We could really use the help.

After reviewing my tests from last week's procedure which was difficult to recover from doctors told us today what needs to happen. . Transplant if I qualify. This Thursday I will meet with the heart & lung transplant team to begin further testing and discussion to determine if I do qualify for the heart transplant. There are a lot of details. Most of the doctors in our community familiar with my case believe I should have the transplant as soon as possible because of how damaged my right atrium is. Blood is just swirling around in there like and having a hard time leaving to the lungs for oxygen. There is another more difficult option but it was ruled out because my body is not strong enough. Regardless by the end of the year I may be having major open heart surgery. . . If I get a transplant there are good chances of living a little longer and enjoying all of you.

A little wild! This is very sobering for us at this time but we have hope and faith in God's great plan of happiness. Leaving the hospital everything outside seemed more beautiful and the music on the radio felt more alive. All is well in Zion!! Pray for our little family.

WE LOVE ALL OF YOU AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP & LOVE!!!

paul


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"Dearly dearly has he loved.
And we must love him to.
And trust in his redeeming blood
And try his works to do."
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