Do I miss my day job?

People keep asking me if I miss my day job? No, I don’t. At least, I haven’t until today.

I play the piano and run a small independent record label called Stone Angel Music. Our artists mostly record peaceful instrumentals. The music we produce has been a major part of my life.

It was last fall when my health began failing and doctors listed me for the transplant that I canceled a little over 20 gigs and stopped spending time promoting the music.

But, that’s the difficult part. I miss playing for people. And more particular, I miss sharing my life’s philosophy in a concert or fireside setting.

I think I’ve been blessed not to really think about it. I guess it’s the drama of the unknown and the fact that all I can think about is my wife and little girl. I want more time with them and I don’t want anything to get in the way.

I look forward to recovering from the challenging surgery. It will be a difficult road for many months. But, I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything. I am learning a great deal about life and it’s purpose. You come to understand a great deal about the character of your family, friends, and other associates.

I’m getting anxious. I want to do so much in this life and give back to those who’ve selflessly served and sacrificed time for my family and me.

And, yes, I have music in me. It’s building up. I can feel it. Hopefully, with faith, prayers, and the incredible medical team, I’ll get chance to let it out.

Oh yea, listen to some of our music.
www.stoneangelmusic.com

(This is what I do during the day now - but, I don't dress up for the gig. And, that's my wife.)

Week 3 - On the List - And some thoughts

I am in my third week waiting for a heart. It could be up to a year so I don't have any anxieties. Both my wife and I continue to feel the comfort and peace we had hoped for in this process.

We've been fortunate not to have Lynnette working for the past 16 months because we've enjoyed the benefits of COBRA insurance. She loves being a stay at home mom and I love having her around. Eden and I are sad to see her going back to work so we have good medical coverage for what lies ahead. Lynnette works in the Newborn Intensive Care Unit at the new Inter-mountain Medical Center. I know that if I had a child in the N.I.C.U. I couldn't ask for a better, kinder, more beautiful nurse. She is very good at what she does. And I admire her abilities. It is a difficult job.

We have an incredible family who is going to help us out when Lynnette works. My daughter, with all of her beautiful energy of life, can be tiring and ware you down. But, I think every parent understands this whether you're in heart failure or not. So I look forward to spending a lot of time with Eden before I get the call.

In regards to waiting for a heart and experiencing the symptoms of heart failure, I've known challenges like these throughout my life and I believe it is because of our faith in a loving and understanding God that my family always seems to grow closer together during these difficult times.

You can't know the sweetness in life without tasting the bitterness of life. There is no reason to blame God for what we are subject to. I believe we chose to experience earthly life as part of a three act play in the eternal nature of things. We are in the second act. God knows what's ahead for us in the third and final act. Like any loving parent, he loves seeing us grow and mature from the choices we make. But above all, at times we make poor choices or are hurt by the choices of others, and like the child who falls from a bike and cries for their mother and father, there is a loving Savior who is there to wipe away our tears and heal our wounds.

Watch a Heart Transplanted

It's awesome what you can find on Youtube. Here is heart transplant procedure on a normal heart. Of course, my surgery will be a lot more complicated because of my heart's anatomy.

WATCH A TRANSPLANT

Possible Heart Transplant

Hi family & friends,

A little more boring news "all about me" . . but, I want you to know what is going on and encourage you to keep most of all my wife Lynnette, daughter Eden, and me in your prayers (along with everyone else in the world that needs our prayers). We could really use the help.

After reviewing my tests from last week's procedure which was difficult to recover from doctors told us today what needs to happen. . Transplant if I qualify. This Thursday I will meet with the heart & lung transplant team to begin further testing and discussion to determine if I do qualify for the heart transplant. There are a lot of details. Most of the doctors in our community familiar with my case believe I should have the transplant as soon as possible because of how damaged my right atrium is. Blood is just swirling around in there like and having a hard time leaving to the lungs for oxygen. There is another more difficult option but it was ruled out because my body is not strong enough. Regardless by the end of the year I may be having major open heart surgery. . . If I get a transplant there are good chances of living a little longer and enjoying all of you.

A little wild! This is very sobering for us at this time but we have hope and faith in God's great plan of happiness. Leaving the hospital everything outside seemed more beautiful and the music on the radio felt more alive. All is well in Zion!! Pray for our little family.

WE LOVE ALL OF YOU AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP & LOVE!!!

paul


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"Dearly dearly has he loved.
And we must love him to.
And trust in his redeeming blood
And try his works to do."
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