Start Living Today!

With all that's gone on these past two weeks, I have not had time to post the short feature KSLTV did on our family. This was used during the Primary Children Medical Center's Miracle Network Telethon. The hospital was able to raise more than 2 million dollars to help some of the families that need financial assistance. The out-pouring of our Utah community is amazing. They talk about the many miracles happening daily at the hospital with the kids, but the miracle is the money raised.



In regards to my current health situation, I have some energy during the day. I continue taking a lot of medication, visiting the clinic every other week, and doing minor tests. It's been more than 10 months (308 days) since I was listed for a heart. I know others have been waiting two years so it's not bad. I have a routine down and amidst all of the chaos of life I have never been so happy in my marriage, as a father, and friend. There is a peace inside me that I know comes from all of the prayers empowering me to hang on, fight on, and conquer this wild dream!

A vital principle I've learned during this process is best said by Dr. Edward Erwin, First Baptist Church of Kentucky, who preached, "Stop waiting for life to come tomorrow, begin living today. Don’t miss what’s NOW because you are looking for what’s NEXT!" His statement is brilliant. Don't live life looking to the future for happiness. Rather, live today! Celebrate everything you have. Celebrate your family and friends. Material things are worthless. How you treat your family is priceless. Did you think to pray? Did you make someone smile? Did you say, "I love you."

Stop waiting for life to come tomorrow, begin living today. Don’t miss what’s NOW because you are looking for what’s NEXT!

How Is it that I Get By?

People have asked me over and over how it is that I get by? Even now with the tragic death of my brother who I am so close too. How do any of us get by? For me, it's almost impossible to explain a spiritual feeling deep in my soul that keeps me focused and reminds me that life is temporary but how we choose to act in this life is eternal. It doesn't make life any easier only more tolerable.

After learning of my failing heart I submitted a blog called Good News. Here are a few paragraphs from that entry:

"What gives me comfort and peace? The love I feel from my wife, family, and friends. Thanks to all of you we literally feel the arms of God around us."

"I also find great comfort in my faith. I know that God lives. Jesus is the Christ. He is my friend. Life is part of a three act play. We are now experiencing the challenges of the 2nd act. In time, all of us will begin act three as we pass through death and wait for the resurrection made possible by Jesus Christ who loosed the bands of physical death. All of us receive that divine gift because of His kindness and power. We will have new and improved bodies to enjoy eternal life in the presence of good and kind people."

"Some of us may need a physical transplant but we must also, all of us, experience a spiritual transplant. I strive for that every day of my life because I know I am far from perfect in kindness and friendship. But, through faith, repentance, and baptism we may begin the process of having our spiritual heart transplant made possible by the suffering of our Savior in Gethsemane and on the Cross. Because of Jesus we don't have to die spiritually. He will heal our hearts and we will feel free."

I feel peace because of your prayers, thoughts, and hopes in my behalf! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! You are true friends and family.

Once again, Lyrics to My Life's Anthem (Bring the Rain by Mercyme)

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that
I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of
the clouds that may loom above
because you are much greater than my pain
you who made a way for me
suffering is Your destiny
so tell me whats a little rain?

Learn more about my faith and the root of what aids me in times of trial:
http://thedoctrineofchrist.blogspot.com/

What Would Brian Do?

(Photos: TOP - Kanab in the 70s with my brothers and Dad. Brian, Dad, Me, David - I'm holding onto Brian; BOTTOM - Brian's Donor Certificate and a statue of a boy running into the arms of a comforting Jesus)

Between my brother Brian and me is my brother David who lives in Las Vegas with his beautiful family as construction manager. He builds things. And he is good at it. After the funeral David had to get home early for some business meetings in L.A.. On his drive home David's cute family stopped at the scene where our younger brother Brian tragically slipped into the next world. David and his gang left some flowers and said a prayer thanking God for Brian.

After arriving home, David went to L.A. for his meetings. He was on his way to the airport when he realized he still had two hours before his flight was scheduled to take off. He said to himself, “What would Brian do? If he had this time?” David said, “That’s right. I’m going to the beach.” He loosed his tie, kicked off his shoes, and got his feet wet. He sat on the shore and observed one of God’s beautiful creations. David found a metaphor in the waves, as they would crash into the shore, some waves crashed harder while others softer. He thought of waves as trials and challenges that continually crash upon us. They don’t stop. They keep coming. For a while they calm but they return. And every now and then there’s a Tsunami.

I’m grateful for what David did in asking, “What would Brian do?” Amidst storms and trials observe the wonderful and beautiful world in which we live and thank God every day for the beauty that surrounds us. Find peace in a sunset. Look for it in the color of the flowers and grass. Go fishing. Climb a mountain. Loosen your tie, kick your shoes off and get wet.

After meeting yesterday with my transplant clinic I learned that the call could come any day now. I am climbing that list and after what my family has been through I will fight like hell to live. Bring it on! And one year from now, June 9, 2010, the anniversary of my brother’s fatal death – with a new heart, a re-birth, I will climb mount Olympus along the beautiful Wasatch front in honor of my brother. He was a beautiful man.

Finally, Brian died before he could donate his organs. But, Intermountain Donor Services (IDS) were able to retrieve some bones and tissue to help someone out there who needs help. I am grateful for this. Our family was given this beautiful certificate with the ironic logo, “Donate Life.”

For more information on organ donation visit:
www.donatelife.net/

Wonderful Tributes to my Brother

The funeral for my brother Brian was perfect. One of the most beautiful services I've ever attended.

Our celebration for his extraordinary life and the love shared among family and friends transcends this wonderful world.

My siblings delivered wonderful tributes. Brian's father in law David Schmidt taught us beautiful doctrine pertaining to Jesus and His Resurrection.

Professor Steven M. Schuster spoke of Brian as one of the most gifted scientists among his generation. And even said with some humor that Brian was his teacher and kindly corrected his work at times.

Finally, my father paid a wonderful tribute, and counseled us, reminded us, that we believe in the principle of forgiveness. Although people should be accountable for their actions we believe in forgiveness.

I am continually in awe of my father and mother in their ability to lead and guide our large family with 22 grandchildren through a difficult time. We have forgiveness in our heart. Through God's grace and mercy it is a beautiful feeling.

As far as my health, I know it won't be long before a heart comes. I continue to pray with all my soul for the family, who I now understand will walk our same path and share our same emotions. I am going to fight that much more for them and for my brother.

I want to live and continue on with what my brother would have wanted me to do.

_________________________

A TRAINED SCIENTIST

Professor Stephen M. Shuster
Northern Arizona University
15 June 2009

He had a bachelor’s degree from Utah State University. There he became interested in newts and garter snakes, and had the chance to work with one of the great professors of herpetology, Dr. Edmund Brodie Jr.

Brian went on to publish this work as an undergraduate student. The fraction of all undergraduate students who ever finish college is less than 50%. The fraction of such students that ever engage in scientific research is less than a tenth of this number. And the fraction of that number of students who actually complete their research and publish it in a scientific journal is less than a tenth of that number.

At a very early age and stage in his career, Brian Layton Cardall showed he had the ability to make important contributions to science. But as an undergraduate, Brian hadn’t tired of discovery yet.

Brian went on to complete a Masters’ degree at Utah State University in Dr. Karen Mock’s laboratory. There Brian showed, using skills he was developing in molecular genetics, that certain native fish in Lake Bonneville, Utah, were actually two distinct species. Okay, two different species instead of one. Why should this be so important?

In fact, this is one of the most fundamental contributions any biologist can make. It is a biologist’s job to give humanity a better understanding of how the natural world works. Brian showed us all something we had never known before; that is until Brian decided to consider this aspect of Nature himself.

Brian gave the scientific world a way to see things differently than they had seen it before. He was excited about using his skills as a biologist and a scientist. He had shown he could make important discoveries, and again, he had published his work. But as a Master’s student, Brian hadn’t tired of discovery yet.

Brian contacted me about becoming a graduate student in my laboratory. I was familiar with some of Brian’s work and the chance to have a seasoned scientist join my lab as a doctoral student seemed almost too good to be true.

Brian and I discussed several options for graduate support and decided he should apply for a Science Foundation Arizona fellowship, a recently established organization designed to invest early in individuals who have the highest potential to drive innovation and scientific research in Arizona. Brian seemed a sure bet to receive this funding and indeed he was awarded a fellowship. But as a Science Foundation Arizona Fellow, Brian hadn’t tired of discovery quite yet.

Brian decided to shift his interests yet again to investigate what is now known, as “community genetics,” the study of how genetic variation within one species may influence the distribution, abundance and reproduction of other species. This new discipline links molecular and evolutionary genetics to population, community, and ecosystem processes. Community genetics has fundamental implications for conservation biology. And this was a connection that I believe Brian, who was passionate about conservation, could simply not resist.

Brian’s work took several different avenues. His cottonwood work focused on locations in Arizona and Utah in which an invasive plant known as salt cedar or Tamarisk, had changed riverbanks that had once been populated by cottonwood trees. Brian’s work has already shown that there may be particular genetic variants of cottonwoods that are resistant to invasion by salt cedar, a discovery that could revolutionize river restoration efforts in areas where salt cedar is abundant. But as a community geneticist, Brian hadn’t tired of discovery quite yet.

Brian became interested in Diorabda beetles, another invasive species that happens to like to eat Tamarisk. And consistent with community genetics theory, Brian showed that beetles preferred to eat certain salt cedar plants and avoid others. Brian had begun work, independently, with scientists at the University of California, Santa Barbara to understand the genetic basis of such preferences. But again, as a conservation biologist, Brian hadn’t tired of discovery quite yet.

Brian’s interest in animals was never too deep below his cheerful exterior because Brian had almost single handedly developed molecular genetic markers that he and I planned to use to explore sexual selection in marine isopods in Mexico.

Brian had also grasped statistical methods I was exploring to understand how animals such as beavers can change ecological communities by preferring some cottonwood trees and not others. Brian had grasped this approach so thoroughly that he was already correcting my work and gently and patiently showing me places where my calculations were in error. But, you guessed it, as a theoretician, Brian hadn’t tired of discovery yet.

Brian immersed himself in each of these fields, and by the spring of 2009, he had comfortably assumed his place among the intellectual cream of young Arizona scientists. At Northern Arizona University, he had become the standard against which all Science Foundation Arizona Fellows were judged. He was a leader among the graduate students in our department and he had the respect, admiration and affection of all of the members of my laboratory.

Brian loved his work. It never seemed to represent work to him. He seemed charmed by the beauty and complexity of nature and Brian was wearing the largest of his infectiously large smiles when in the field with his daughter Ava, she riding on his shoulders or strapped to his chest, facing outward so she could see the world through her father’s inquisitive and perceptive eyes.

Brian Cardall was one of the most outstanding people I have ever known. He was a consistently friendly, hard working, intelligent, witty and even-tempered guy. He was a kind and gentle human being. He was a devoted father and a caring husband. And Brian had all of the intellectual, creative and scientific tools he needed to become one of the most outstanding scientists of his generation.

His work spanned questions and applications from molecules to ecosystems. But Brian, although he is no longer with us, does not seem to be tired of discovery quite yet.

Brian’s work and love of nature lives on in his publications, those that have already explained so much about the natural world, as well as those on cottonwoods and tamarisk, on tamarisk and beetles, and on marine isopod crustaceans, all of which are very close to completion and eventual publication.

It is a tragic understatement to say that Brian Layton Cardall will be missed. But I believe, Brian’s discoveries and insights have a long and bright future ahead. Brian’s publications will do much to keep us all from growing tired of discovery. I have been and continue to be inspired by Brian Cardall; my student, my colleague, and my friend.

A Sobering Week

This has been one of the most difficult weeks in all my life. My brother dying is beyond comprehension. The tragic way in which it happened is hard to understand. I am so sad.

Brian was my friend, my dear sweet friend. He was the kindest man I know who always avoided contention and wanted everyone to be happy. He wouldn't hurt a soul verbally or physically. He spoke with open arms asking for patient understanding and would approach with love and concern. He was a genius, an artist, a brilliant mind, and one of the most gifted young scientists of his generation.

I will never be the same. And yet, somehow through all of this nightmare, I am at peace. God is with me. The experiences of my life continue to strengthen me and given me comfort. I have the greatest family and friends in the world. Everyone should feel this much love.

Adversity is a hard thing to bare but there is hope of a brighter day and of times to reflect on the many wonderful blessings of life.

If you'll please permit me, I wanted to share my brother's obituary beautifully written by my stoic father.

http://www.legacy.com/saltlaketribune/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=128348391

Also, read of his accomplishments, awards, and publications in his scientific field at http://www.ecologicalgenetics.com/CV_%20MAR09.html

My Brother and The Irony of Life

As our family copes with with my brother Brian's tragic death, and I ponder what has happened, I'd like to re-post my blog titled The Irony of Life from April 30, 2009. I do not know the meaning of all things? But, I know that God loves His children. Also, I'd like to mention another scripture that reads, "He that hath faith in me to be healed, and is not appointed unto death, shall be healed." (Doctrine & Covenants 42:48)

THE IRONY OF LIFE

Life is full of ironies. A prominent thoracic surgeon who was scheduled to do my procedure, and who has saved hundreds of kid's lives, has cancer and will be unable to return to the operating room. Our thoughts and prayers are with him and his family during this incredibly difficult time.

Another one of life's ironies is that my thoughts and prayers are constantly with a family whose husband; son, father, mother, wife, or daughter will be my donor. If I only knew who they were could I warn them? Could we stop whatever calamity is coming? This is a very sobering predicament. Like the young single mother who gives her child away to a married couple for adoption, there is an almost indescribable sacrifice, which takes place.

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

My wife works with babies fresh from Heaven while I have a friend who buried people for his profession until he sold his business. On and on it goes and the irony of life and death is fascinating, sobering, difficult, and mysterious.

Where do we find comfort in all of this? It's almost impossible for me to discuss such strange diversions in life without acknowledging my faith in a loving Heavenly Father who knows and understands all things.

A spiritual hero of mine and theologian leader Neil A. Maxwell wrote, "Irony is the hard crust on the bread of adversity. Irony can try both our faith and our patience. Irony can be a particularly bitter form of such chastening because it involves disturbing incongruity. It involves outcomes in violation of our expectations. We see the best laid plans laid waste."

He continues, "With its inverting of our anticipated consequences, irony becomes the frequent cause of an individual’s being offended. The larger and the more untamed one’s ego, the greater the likelihood of his being offended, especially when tasting his portion of vinegar and gall."

"Words then issue, such as Why me? Why this? Why now? Of course, these words may give way to subsequent spiritual composure. Sometimes, however, such words precede bitter inconsolability, and then it is a surprisingly short distance between disappointment and bitterness."

Maxwell further suggests, "Amid life’s varied ironies, you and I may begin to wonder, did not God notice this torturous turn of events? And if He noticed, why did He permit it? Am I not valued?"

"Irony may involve not only unexpected suffering but also undeserved suffering. We feel we deserved better, and yet we fared worse. We had other plans, even commendable plans. Did they not count? A physician, laboriously trained to help the sick, now, because of his own illness, cannot do so."

And finally, Neil Maxwell concludes, "In coping with irony, as in all things, we have an Exemplary Teacher in Jesus. Dramatic irony assaulted Jesus’ divinity almost constantly.

"For Jesus, in fact, irony began at His birth. Truly, He suffered the will of the Father “in all things from the beginning.” This whole earth became Jesus’ footstool, but at Bethlehem there was “no room … in the inn” and “no crib for his bed”

"At the end, meek and lowly Jesus partook of the most bitter cup without becoming the least bitter. The Most Innocent suffered the most. Yet the King of Kings did not break, even when some of His subjects did unto Him “as they listed.” Christ’s capacity to endure such irony was truly remarkable."

"You and I are so much more brittle. For instance, we forget that, by their very nature, tests are unfair."

A scripture reads something like, "I do not know the meaning of all things? But, I know that God loves His children."

And another which provides great comfort says, "The spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life...those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow."

Often, in my mind flow the words of another spiritual hero, Joseph Smith, who wrote, "I am like a huge, rough stone rolling down from a high mountain; … knocking off a corner here and a corner there. Thus I will become a smooth and polished shaft in the quiver of the Almighty."

All of my life's challenges and mountains to climb have brought me closer to my family and to God. I would not trade them for all the money in the world. These things are difficult and discouraging at times but there is much greater suffering in the world than my own. And through it all I am comforted knowing that God is my friend.

Visit my blog titled My Faith in Jesus

Read the full sermon "Irony: The Crust on the Bread of Adversity" by Neil A. Maxwell

More on Paul's Brother Brian

Taser victim was grad student
THE SPECTRUM - BY KEVIN JENKINS • kevin@thespectrum.com • June 11, 2009 - ST. GEORGE

A Northern Arizona University professor said he was horrified to learn about the death Tuesday of graduate student Brian Cardall after Cardall was Tasered by a Hurricane police officer.
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"I am outraged and dismayed that such harsh tactics were used on such a kind and gentle human being," said Stephen M. Shuster, professor of invertebrate zoology at NAU where Cardall studied molecular ecology.

"He was a Science Foundation Arizona Fellow at Northern Arizona University and thus was a member of an elite group of graduate student scholars in this state - the intellectual cream of young Arizona scientists," Shuster said. "At Northern Arizona University, he was the standard against which all SFAz Fellows were judged. There was no indication that Brian was having mental problems that I was aware of," he said. "He was a consistently friendly, hard-working, intelligent, witty and even-tempered guy. He was a devoted father and a caring husband."

Read More

Tragic News concerning Paul's Brother

Statement by Paul Cardall concerning the tragic death of his brother.

"I have struggled my whole life with a severe heart defect while Brian experienced some mental illness. Rarely did Brian have episodes which triggered this horrific tragedy. The public should know that Brian is a wonderful son, loyal brother, loving father, and faithful husband who loved being with people. He was extremely intelligent and full of personality. He wanted to make a difference in this world. He was working on his Ph.D. in molecular ecology at Northern Arizona University. He loved being in the outdoors with his daughter Ava and beautiful wife Anna. Brian was a great friend. He brought so much joy to our family and had the biggest heart in the world. He was a good man striving to learn how to be a better man. It was an honor to know him in this life and call him brother. Our family will miss Brian but we are comforted by our faith in a loving Heavenly Father whose grace is sufficient enough. Here is to our brother Brian. God speed my friend. You are free to exercise the spiritual depths of your heart. We love you!"

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

Son of KSL editorial director dies after being tased by police

By John Hollenhorst

WASHINGTON COUNTY -- A 32-year-old man died Tuesday afternoon after he was tased by a Hurricane police officer.

Brian Cardall is the son of KSL's Editorial Director Duane Cardall.

He and his wife, who is six months pregnant, were traveling south on State Road 59 just outside of Hurricane after visiting his family in Salt Lake City.

According to his wife, Cardall, who has a recent history of mental illness, was having an episode that prompted them to pull over to medicate.

Once stopped, Cardall got out of the vehicle and began to run down the road.

His wife called 911. Not long after, she found out he had been tased and was unresponsive.

CPR was administered on scene. Cardall was taken to the Dixie Regional Medical Center where he was pronounced dead.

The Washington County Sheriff's Office is investigating.

In a press release on its website, the Sheriff's office writes: Police and medical personnel responded to a call for assistance with an agitated subject on State Route 59 this afternoon in Washington County. During the incident, a Hurricane City Police Officer deployed a taser and the subject lost consciousness. The subject was treated within moments by EMS personnel, but was pronounced dead after being transported to the hospital.

Cardall was a doctoral candidate in biology at Northern Arizona University.

In a statement his family said, "Brian is a wonderful son, brother, father, and husband who loved being with people. He was full of personality and wanted to make a difference in this world. He was working on his PhD in Molecular Ecology at Northern Arizona University. He loved being in the outdoors and with his daughter Ava and beautiful wife Anna. We will miss Brian but are comforted by our faith."

The Waiting Psychosis and a Few Things I've learned

My wife and I have a phrase called “the waiting psychosis” which is a state of peril, a social stand still or lack of progression where nothing seems to be moving forward until a concluding event. This could happen to a person in my situation whose waited a long time for a life or death surgery, or on bed rest during a difficult pregnancy where you might enjoy new life or none at all, diagnosed with cancer, living in a troubled marriage not knowing if it will last, losing a child to drugs, immorality, or something else. In any of these situations human emotion intensifies and life can seem confusing.

I can’t speak for others but I have learned some important principles in suffering if you’ll permit me to share them with you. Of course, I don’t have a doctorate in philosophy or psychiatry but I am almost an expert witness in these things. I realize that many of you have gone through far greater trials than my own. Survivors of the holocaust could teach us all a thing or two about pain. Please permit me to share with you a few things I’ve observed.

I’ve learned how a person reacts to suffering affects more than just one. When you throw a pebble in a pond there is a rippling effect. How you act or react to your situation effects those around you. It’s ok to be angry, impatient, and frustrated. Voice your concerns to those closest to you and talk through the problem. But, how often do we forget to tell people in our lives how much we love them? Share with them that you appreciate their help and sacrifice in serving you. It’s not a party for them either but together, as Martin Luther King Jr. said, “we shall overcome!”

There are four principles that I have realized help during a difficult situation. They are humility, patience, courage, and service.

First, suffering will humble you and if you aren’t humble hold on to your hat because something at some point in your life, call it deity or whatever, something will happen to remind you that you are powerless against your own situation. In speaking of overcoming a problem one of my favorite political influences Mohandas Gandhi said, “I will combat it by humble love.” He oversaw a peaceful revolution that led India to independence and inspired movements for civil rights and freedom across the world.

Second, waiting for a concluding event teaches you patience. “Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.” Leo Tolstoy wrote, “The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.”

Third, courage is strength in the face of fear, pain, or grief. There are many great examples of people who overcame their fears and took courage as their course of action. My maternal grandfather was a captain of a gun artillery unit in France during World War II. He led men into battle and was wounded. He reminds me of all those who face war which is the darkest hour of human suffering with all of its death and destruction.

George Ambrose popular book and HBO series Band of Brothers follows the men of East Company from D-Day through the war. A few days after D-Day, they were walking down a road toward a French village when a German machine gun opened fire on them. In spite of their training, the men ducked for cover and froze. The company commander, Dick Winters, knew if they stayed there, his men would be cut down. Lieutenant Winders reacted. He stood up in the middle of the road, away from cover, bullets whistling all around him and ordered his men to move out. His men stared at him, not believing what they were seeing-but only for an instant. The courage of their commanding officer inspired them. They moved out.

You don’t have to go to war to face courage. My father in law raised ten children after my wife’s mother passed away from cancer. He was a schoolteacher and retired early to raise his children who have become great people.

My sister's husband chose to follow his convictions and serve a mission for his church although his own father discouraged him from going.

People like these are my heroes. They do something extraordinary even though it’s hard. “Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point,” said C.S. Lewis.

Fourth, service is love. It is the humble act of giving of your time, talents, and whatever you have to help another person. Accepting service takes humility. Once I realized the growth experienced in serving another is when I understood that to deny someone else the opportunity is to be selfish. David O. Mckay preached, “Happiness is the end, really, of our existence. That happiness comes most effectively through service to our fellow men.” He also said, “It is a principle the application of which promises to supplant discouragement and gloom with hope and gladness; to fill life with contentment and peace everlasting. This being true its acceptance would indeed be a boon today to this distracted, depression-ridden world. Why, then, do men and nations ignore a thing so precious?” The great American poet Maya Angelou said, “My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.”

Humility, patience, courage, and service are principles you work at. It takes time. When my doctor opens my chest for the sixth time in my life it won’t be his first time working on a heart. He has been trained. It takes courage, humility, patience, and service to do his job. Surgery is a practice like playing the piano. You work on your skills and spend a lot of time developing your talent. When it comes time to perform you hope that you’ve practiced enough to be the most effective at the most critical time. Likewise, I will hold to these four invaluable principles, which should empower me though the drama of recovery, and any future event that challenges me. I am not perfect and this is why I needed an imperfect heart.

Finally, I find great comfort in a statement made by one of my spiritual guides who passed away from cancer. Neal A. Maxwell recorded, “We tend to think only in terms of our endurance, but it is God’s patient long-suffering which provides us with our chances to improve, affording us urgently needed developmental space or time.” I pondered that word long-suffering, a word used to explain God by almost every great spiritual leader in all kinds of denominations. What does that word mean?

Long-suffering means to be stoic, charitable, understanding, forgiving through the difficulty. I’ve learned that if we endure these challenges with humility and patience and ponder all that we’ve endured, no matter what the circumstance, we will be stoic through the storms of life that our family, friends, or associates face. We will become that much more endowed with power to reach our hand down and grab their hand pulling them up as we all climb this ladder called life.

(Pictures: All photos by Copyright 2009 Jeffery D. Allred, Deseret News, Used by Permission, except the one of my arm)

Gracie's Theme Music Video

My tune Gracie's Theme, inspired by baby Gracie Gledhill and all the other children with CHD, is going to be on an album that Shadow Mountain Records will release sometime in the Fall on my behalf. It combines 15 songs from my 15 years recording music.

Hopefully, this will bring a little more attention to those who are deeply affected by heart conditions. I know mine has richly blessed my life in an bitter-sweet way.

Deseret News Article & Video

Musician awaiting heart transplant performs at Primary Children's telethon

By Carrie A. Moore
Photo by Jeffery D. Allred, Deseret News

Tuesday, June 2, 2009 11:24 p.m. MDT

Editor's note: This is the fourth story in an occasional series

Musician Paul Cardall doesn't get to the piano much anymore, but when he does, the music is straight from his heart, the tired one that needs to be replaced soon.

Two small cameo appearances last weekend during the 27th annual KSL/Primary Children's Medical Center telethon provided him a chance to give back to a hospital he's frequented so often, there's a bronze wall plaque outside the electrocardiogram lab bearing his name.

It was placed there years ago by family members, whose donation to the hospital came after he survived a Fontan surgery to treat severe congenital heart disease.

At 36, he regularly visits his doctors in the cardiology clinic at Primary Children's, despite the fact that almost all of his fellow patients are 18 or younger. Continue reading the story