Friday, June 19, 2009

What Would Brian Do?

(Photos: TOP - Kanab in the 70s with my brothers and Dad. Brian, Dad, Me, David - I'm holding onto Brian; BOTTOM - Brian's Donor Certificate and a statue of a boy running into the arms of a comforting Jesus)

Between my brother Brian and me is my brother David who lives in Las Vegas with his beautiful family as construction manager. He builds things. And he is good at it. After the funeral David had to get home early for some business meetings in L.A.. On his drive home David's cute family stopped at the scene where our younger brother Brian tragically slipped into the next world. David and his gang left some flowers and said a prayer thanking God for Brian.

After arriving home, David went to L.A. for his meetings. He was on his way to the airport when he realized he still had two hours before his flight was scheduled to take off. He said to himself, “What would Brian do? If he had this time?” David said, “That’s right. I’m going to the beach.” He loosed his tie, kicked off his shoes, and got his feet wet. He sat on the shore and observed one of God’s beautiful creations. David found a metaphor in the waves, as they would crash into the shore, some waves crashed harder while others softer. He thought of waves as trials and challenges that continually crash upon us. They don’t stop. They keep coming. For a while they calm but they return. And every now and then there’s a Tsunami.

I’m grateful for what David did in asking, “What would Brian do?” Amidst storms and trials observe the wonderful and beautiful world in which we live and thank God every day for the beauty that surrounds us. Find peace in a sunset. Look for it in the color of the flowers and grass. Go fishing. Climb a mountain. Loosen your tie, kick your shoes off and get wet.

After meeting yesterday with my transplant clinic I learned that the call could come any day now. I am climbing that list and after what my family has been through I will fight like hell to live. Bring it on! And one year from now, June 9, 2010, the anniversary of my brother’s fatal death – with a new heart, a re-birth, I will climb mount Olympus along the beautiful Wasatch front in honor of my brother. He was a beautiful man.

Finally, Brian died before he could donate his organs. But, Intermountain Donor Services (IDS) were able to retrieve some bones and tissue to help someone out there who needs help. I am grateful for this. Our family was given this beautiful certificate with the ironic logo, “Donate Life.”

For more information on organ donation visit:
www.donatelife.net/

20 comments:

  1. This was beautiful-thank you for sharing it. I hope you do get your new heart soon and you can make that journey up Mt. Olympus for your brother next year-what a wonderful journey and tribute that will be. You and your family are in our prayers.

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  2. You have an awesome brother :). We love you!

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  3. Thank you for blessing the rest of us with the glory and agony of your journey. We use one of your Hymns CDs to put our toddler to sleep every day and night. Each time I hear your beautiful music lulling my baby to sleep, I pray fervently that God won't let you die. I also pray that your sister-in-law will be carried in the arms of angels right now. You are all loved so much.

    God bless you, dear Cardall family. God bless you, Paul, with a new heart.

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  4. What David did is just awesome! I love it! I can't wait to hear that you got that call -- I know you will fight like hell and WIN this battle -- but I really can't wait to see you climb Mt. Olympus! :)

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  5. I feel your passion...for your family, your brother, your parents, your Savior...for life. Go for it, Paul, GO!!!
    God speed.

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  6. Thank you for such beautiful words. We will continue to pray that your family may be comforted at the loss of your brother and for you that your heart will come soon! I am looking to you for a happy transplant story to give me hope for my little Miracle Mason who will need a new heart soon!


    Sincerely, Mason's Mommy

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  7. The irony that follows your family. I hope you all can find some peace and comfort, especially his precious little family.

    I hope you find yourself atop Mt. Olympus in a year, Paul. I climbed that in 2002, and it is an incredible accomplishment for a normal, heart-healthy human being, so I can only imagine the sense of achievement you will feel. I probably couldn't do it now. So I'll live vicariously through you.

    My prayers are with you and your family as you await your call.

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  8. Beautiful. Your piano playing in the background, while reading your words, brought tears to my eyes.

    I have a friend who died in February, and another who was killed almost 3 years ago, and they, too were organ donors. Every time I see that Certificate, and the words Donate Life, my heart swells. It's not just from sadness, but pride.
    My prayers are with you and your family; for the trials you have overcome, the trials you are currently going through, and the trials you have yet to face. Your faith is inspiring.

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  9. Went to the temple this morning and put your name on the prayer list. It was interesting that in the prayer today we prayed that the names of these people would "be healed." I am sure your heart will be here soon!

    I had a month of waiting this year where doctors were doing tests and thought I might have a fatal disease. During that month I experienced a small glimpse of what you might go through all the time. I felt physically weak and I just kept praying, "I want to be strong, I want to be healthy, I want to LIVE!...I would be upset with myself because I often felt so depressed, and that made me feel even weaker... I have 4 children and a wonderful husband I can't leave them here!" When the test results came back negative I felt like I was on cloud nine... I am getting treatment and I'm going to be just fine, physically I am much stronger too. It gave me alot to think about though for that horrible, scary month. I can sympathize just a tiny bit now.

    Keep the faith Paul!

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  10. Dear Paul, I woke up this morning thinking about you, and hope that someday soon, you'll get your new heart! God Bless you and your family!
    Tanille Kelsch!

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  11. I hadn't cried today...and then I opened your blog. I bawled! I sure love you and will be climbing that mountain right beside you. Thanks for all the words of comfort and strength you have shared this past week with me. You are one of my heroes.

    P.S. That picture of you holding onto Bri's arm is so tender. I suspect the roles may be reversed as you lay on your hospital bed. He will be holding onto you.

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  12. Thank You again for sharing your deepest feelings! You are continually in our thoughts and prayers and I am excitingly waiting the day that I can read on your blog that your heart has arrived! God Bless you!

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  13. Oh Beck...I hadn't cried until today when I read your comment about Bri holding onto Paul when he has his transplant! I am so lucky to have married into such an amazing family!

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  14. Dear Paul and Family,

    I can't even begin to imagine what you have been through the past month waiting on Paul's new heart and then experiencing the tragic death of Brian. I am so sorry for your loss.

    Will someone update us as to when your heart arrives and then again regarding your condition once the transplant is complete and you are through to recovery? I have been following your story for several months and would be honored to be able to pray for your specific needs during your transplant and following through recovery. Please let us know of any specific prayer requests that arise.

    Praying for you and your family from Washington State!

    Kay

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  15. Such a great reminder for us all, thank you! I love nature and know it brings great peace and closeness to our Heavenly Father. That is so exciting about your heart news!!! I can't wait either to read the news of you recieving a new heart! I think that is an awesome goal to hike Mt. Olympus-it sounds like fun.

    I'm so glad Brian was able to still donate, I had wondered. I didn't realize fully just how much a person can donate until my Grandpa died and he was able to donate. It truly is amazing and humbling. I hope your blog inpsires people to change their minds or perceptions on donation and decide to do it!

    Best of wishes, Chelsea

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  16. Your blog entries constantly bring me to tears. What sweet, sweet words. I've mentioned before that I was friends with Brian in highschool and I truly know the world has suffered such a tremendous loss. Your family have and will continue to be in my whole families prayers.

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  17. I'm looking forward to the day when there is a LONG lag between postings by you on your blog. That's when I'll know you got the life-chaging call! Our fingers are crossed and our prayers are with you!

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  18. I am so glad Brian was able to be a donor. We weren't able to donate Annika's organs, either, but we donated her corneas. Her name is on a monument near the Salt Lake Library. I think Brian's should be able to go on it, too. The family who donates your heart will get to have that same peace and comfort that I'm sure Brian's donation has brought to you, and Annika's has brought to me.

    I can't wait to see pictures of you on Mount Olympus!

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  19. Oh, one more thing. While you're up there on Mt. Olympus, change that "S" to an "O"...ONCE AND FOR ALL!! Go Titans!

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  20. Paul, I've followed your blog and I just want to offer my condolences about your brother's passing. I lost my little daughter Mia 6 years ago. It is not a thing you imagine for yourself in life. I pray for you to get a heart. Your comment on the news about you knowing how the family that gives you a heart will feel because of your loss touched my heart so much. Also I love the picture of you and your dad and brothers. I am from Kanab. It is cool to see that old wagon on your blog. Do you have ties here? (in Kanab, I live here now too). My prayers go out to you and your family. Love, Nicole Holland

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