Fitted For A Better World

Today, I walked for 30 minutes; nearly tube free with the exception of my chest tubes draining fluid, and without oxygen, from my room at Primary Children’s Medical Center over the long hallway to the University of Utah Medical Center. And although I have to gown up and wear a mask and gloves to protect myself from infection I have never felt so alive!

(Right Photo - Taking my first walk to a window where I can see Mount Olympus which I plan to climb June 9, 2010 to overlook the beautiful Salt Lake Valley.)

I should be home soon. But, I’ll be back every other day for the usual poking and prodding, biopsies, and rehab typical of a post-transplant life.

Eventually, I’ll have a stabilized drug regimen and be on my way to a most normal life with a new transplanted organ.

And what to do now?

(Photo Left - Chief of Cardiothoracic Surgery, Primary Children’s Medical Center Aditya K. “AK” Kaza, M.D. showing my family my old 5lb heart.)

Over the next couple of weeks I plan to wrap up this blog for a season in order to focus all my time and attention on my wife and little girl. I think I’ll have Eden take me shopping for a bicycle. I’m sure she’ll have a good idea. Maybe she’ll buy me some tap shoes since she is also taking a dance class.

This blog, Living for Eden, will remain online and available as a resource for the folks googling medical information and looking for personal help. Those of you interested in continuing to follow my situation I suggest visiting my music career website and signing up on my mailing list. I will let people know how I am doing until I choose to blog further. Click Here to sign up.

(Photo Right - My kind and wonderful P.I.C.U. nurse removing IVs from my jugular vein.)

The road has been long and difficult. We have experienced the roller coaster of emotions. There have been deep discussions in the darkest hours of evenings concerning the “what if?” How would my family live without a father and husband. Such questions are sobering. Many tears have flowed.

We’ve spent countless hours on our knees seeking help. And the help came through the arms of those who love people and love God. I have learned a great deal about the character of my community. There is more virtue and good in the world than evil. People quietly go about doing good and I’m moved to follow in their footsteps.

(Photo Right - PCMC Director, Adult Congenital Cardiac Program Angela T. Yetman interacting with my family in the surgical waiting room.)

I’ve shared insights and probably preached principles I hope have helped your life. I know, not alone, but by so many others, that you cannot learn joy in this world without experiencing the challenges of life. Through our suffering we gain important virtues; wisdom, compassion, love, charity, hope, faith, sacrifice, and many more.

"We have a Father in Heaven who loves us specifically and gives us things to do and, because he loves us, will cause us, at times, to have our souls stretched and to be fitted for a better world by coping with life in this world,” said Neal A. Maxwell.

This experience has transformed and empowered me. I would not trade this past year for all the wealth or power in the world. But, of course, if I had all that I would have the ability to shout from the rooftops three eternal laws from the New Testament which most people can agree with; Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbor as thyself.

And finally, there is a powerful statement in the book of Ephesians, which is a standard I hope to live by, which states, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”

(Photo Right - Talking on the phone with my friend and former adult congenital cardiologist Michael Adjei-Poku.)

What Would Brian Do?

(Photos: TOP - Kanab in the 70s with my brothers and Dad. Brian, Dad, Me, David - I'm holding onto Brian; BOTTOM - Brian's Donor Certificate and a statue of a boy running into the arms of a comforting Jesus)

Between my brother Brian and me is my brother David who lives in Las Vegas with his beautiful family as construction manager. He builds things. And he is good at it. After the funeral David had to get home early for some business meetings in L.A.. On his drive home David's cute family stopped at the scene where our younger brother Brian tragically slipped into the next world. David and his gang left some flowers and said a prayer thanking God for Brian.

After arriving home, David went to L.A. for his meetings. He was on his way to the airport when he realized he still had two hours before his flight was scheduled to take off. He said to himself, “What would Brian do? If he had this time?” David said, “That’s right. I’m going to the beach.” He loosed his tie, kicked off his shoes, and got his feet wet. He sat on the shore and observed one of God’s beautiful creations. David found a metaphor in the waves, as they would crash into the shore, some waves crashed harder while others softer. He thought of waves as trials and challenges that continually crash upon us. They don’t stop. They keep coming. For a while they calm but they return. And every now and then there’s a Tsunami.

I’m grateful for what David did in asking, “What would Brian do?” Amidst storms and trials observe the wonderful and beautiful world in which we live and thank God every day for the beauty that surrounds us. Find peace in a sunset. Look for it in the color of the flowers and grass. Go fishing. Climb a mountain. Loosen your tie, kick your shoes off and get wet.

After meeting yesterday with my transplant clinic I learned that the call could come any day now. I am climbing that list and after what my family has been through I will fight like hell to live. Bring it on! And one year from now, June 9, 2010, the anniversary of my brother’s fatal death – with a new heart, a re-birth, I will climb mount Olympus along the beautiful Wasatch front in honor of my brother. He was a beautiful man.

Finally, Brian died before he could donate his organs. But, Intermountain Donor Services (IDS) were able to retrieve some bones and tissue to help someone out there who needs help. I am grateful for this. Our family was given this beautiful certificate with the ironic logo, “Donate Life.”

For more information on organ donation visit:
www.donatelife.net/