Last night, as I lay awake in a dark hospital room, which has become my home, I remembered the many nights I would lie next to my daughter in her room as she drifted off to sleep.As a toddler Eden didn’t like being alone at night and was afraid of having the lights off. Together, we read books and said prayers. I would turn out the light and continue lying in the room next to her. Slowly she would fade off peacefully knowing her dad was nearby.
There is a beautiful analogy with such a precious memory. For in my own darkest hours I know we have a kind and loving Father in Heaven close by and I’m not afraid. He’s there to help each of us feel calm so we might peacefully endure the dark periods.
(Photo: Giving a hug to my daughter Eden before she left me alone at the hospital)
Paul,
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing man! You are an inspiration to my family, and I appreciate you sharing your personal story with the world. Please take comfort in your family, and our Father. Our family is sending prayers your way.
God Bless!
I'm also thankful for our Father's love in our dark hours.
ReplyDeleteMy parents used to lay by me at night and I used to lay by my kids at night too. Those are good memories.
Hospital rooms are no fun. I've spent plenty of nights on those pull out "beds" at Primary Children's. And then there's the nurses who have to come in and check your vitals every four hours...
Hang in there. Many people are praying for you. :)
I love the example of Emma Smith and her strength through trials that I can't even fathom. She was a perfect companion for her husband, for he was just as noble. And there are many others who have gone through far more than I will ever go through in a lifetime. I crave after that kind of steadfastness...after faith that strong.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I just have to tell you that your wife looks like an absolute ANGEL! She just glows so much beauty.... a heavenly beauty!
Paul,
ReplyDeleteI love to read your blog...such strength and testimony even in the dark hours!
I want to thank you for all your wonderful music. I as a fan before I even knew about you directly. I teach early morning seminary here in AZ. I am always looking for good music to have on for the kids as they arrive. I just purchased your new album Sacred Piano. Oh my goodness, it is beautiful, my daughter and I listened to it on the way home from the bookstore, we were speechless. Then I took it to seminary...no one said anything at the beginning....it was Friday they were hyper and excited for the football game last night (I teach only freshman). As they were leaving, I turned it back on, Gracie's theme was playing. Two of my girls came back in...the one looked at me and said, with tears already forming in her eyes...."that song"..."I have to listen to that song"...we stood there listening until it was done, then I said to the girls, have you heard of Paul Cardall? They said no, I briefly told them your story, they cried, I am pretty sure Tuesday morning back in class, there will be prayer to heaven for you...the youth really are tender hearted. Anyway thanks, thanks for beautiful songs full of spirit, that we can all enjoy!
May God uphold and bless you in the fog of adversity, may you soon feel the rain and see the beautiful light! Your family is beautiful...thanks for sharing!
I remember my fear of the dark and the creatures looking in my window and residing under my bed. My mother would lie with me and the world was so safe. I would lie with my children and tell stories that my Mother brought as little gifts whenever she came to visit. I always had one last thing to do, worried about the day ahead and would sometimes not read that one more story they requested. Sometimes wishing they would hurry up and drift off faster. :( Now I wish I had stayed longer,and kept on reading and stroking their little heads.
ReplyDeleteOur Heavenly Father is most definitely with you, protecting in these dark hours, stroking your head,
He will not leave you and he will provide your every need and bring you a special gift very soon.
p.s. I placed your name in the Adoration Chapel at St. Marys Church and some wonderful people are joining me in prayer, so we may be heard a little better ;)
I LOVE this post. I was terrified to go to sleep alone as a child (there'd been a fire in my bedroom), and my dad read to me every night and then told me scripture stories after he turned out the lights until I feel asleep. That service has strengthened me during the difficult times of my life. I miss him SO much (He died of cancer when I was 19.)
ReplyDeleteThere have been times when my Heavenly Father has encircled me in the arms of His love when I have been overwhelmed with trials, sorrow, or grief. What a comfort it is to know that God lives and that He loves us perfectly.
Paul, you are an inspiration to all who read your blog. Thanks so much. We're praying for you.
It took me a long time to realize or begin to understand that our heavenly father loves us like a dedicated dad (only more of course) He is approachable, loving, forgiving... It wasn't until my mom died suddenly when I was 25 and a friend sort of explained to me that I need to look to God as a dad and allow Him to wrap His loving arms around me. You've got it here. This post is a sweet reminder.
ReplyDeleteI am so grateful for your comments and your attitude. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us. We are praying for you and wishing you the best........Heavenly Father is ALWAYS with us :o) You are never alone.
ReplyDeleteThere is a Michael Mclean song that I thought of reading this post. We sing it to our kids all the time. I can't for the life of me remember the name but it goes like this,
ReplyDelete"Close your eyes this part is scary, take my hand it won't last long. You will love the ending, I promise, when this part of the story is done."
Speaking of family, life, and our Father in Heaven.
Keep holding on. Thanks for letting me be part of your life even tho we have never met.
brought tears to my eyes to read this...you are such a good Daddy! I am sure she misses you laying by her as much as you miss her. OUr Heavenly Father is so near most of the time we don't realize it.
ReplyDeleteJaycee (8 yrs. old) and Ethan (5 yrs. old) now include you in their prayers at night. There is nothing more powerful than a child's prayer so sleep better tonight, have happy dreams, and wake up with a little more strength. That is what they ask for.
ReplyDeletePaul, again it's meisha Jensen (Lynnette was our nurse in the NICU). I pray and hope for the best. I know that God has his purposes for us wether in this life or the next. I rejoice that your family is forever. I do hope that you will continue to be comforted. Mcihael McClain wrote in a song "you'll never know what the sunrise means to the one who had a terrible night..." I know though that the sunrise is God's way of telling us that although it was hard it's ok and today is a new start. May the Lord be continually with you as you are in our prayers!
ReplyDeletePaul, I can't wait to read the book you write as a result of your experiences. You have a gift for putting words together in powerful ways, just like you have a gift for putting notes together in powerful ways. Father really does love us, in the dark and in the light; isn't it an amazing and truly awesome gift to know that?! Love to you and yours! Oh, and by the way, I love your new CD; can't wait to share it with Larry!
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing father! Eden needs to you be there for her for a long, long time. I know you must be weary but I believe you have more to do here on earth. Prayers are going up to Heaven over and over each day for you.
ReplyDeleteYour words bring tears to my eyes and you are so inspiring! God Bless you & your beautiful family Paul. You are in my thoughts & prayers.
ReplyDeletePaul,
ReplyDeleteYou certainly are an inspiration to many. I have followed your posts since last spring. Our family was thrown into the CHD world last December 1 when my daughter, Brittney, was diagnosed with restrictive cariomyopathy. After further testing, she was listed on Dec. 9, and by wonderful miracle, she received a heart on Dec. 16 (6 days and 18 hours after being listed). We have been praying for you and your family! I have also since bought one of your cd's and listen to it often! Stay strong and believe!
The Butchers
Paul,
ReplyDeleteI stated reading your blog when I read about you and your beautiful music on Gracies blog. You are truly an inspiration! I pray that God keeps you safe and comfortable while you wait for the special call. Miracles happen and I pray that yours comes soon. You have such a beautiful family to get home, too. :o)
Paul and Family,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this trial with us. Your post is inspirational. My daughter's open heart surgery was years ago and we will be having another surgery in a few months. While I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I miss the sublime communion with the Spirit that we felt during those dark and fearful times. Reading your posts help me remember what true communion feels like. It reminds me how living BY faith is different than living WITH faith. We are praying for you everyday and continue to grow stronger from your faith and optimism. Thank you.
You are such an amazing person and I admire your strength. This is such a beautiful post! Thanks for reminding me to remember that God is with us always! May God bless you and continue to give you strength while waiting to be healed!
ReplyDeleteYou are such an amazing person and I admire your strength. This is such a beautiful post! Thanks for reminding me to remember that God is with us always! May God bless you and continue to give you strength while waiting to be healed!
ReplyDeletePaul,
ReplyDeleteYou and Eden can get matching night lights! Kind of like when people look at the moon when they are not together but know they both share the light of the moon or matching night lights. You also share the light and love from Heaven. I pray for you to have peace, to be able to walk through each hour of the day and night.
I wish we could remove this from you but as we cannot, again, we pray for you to be blessed with peace, comfort and hope. (and as long as we are thanking and asking, by golly, please, a new healthy heart to boot!)
Beautiful. Your blog and your thoughts are an inspiration.
ReplyDelete