(Photo: August family portrait before coming into the hospital)As I sit in my hospital room looking out my window I see smog hovering over the Salt Lake valley like a thick plague. Each year the wind brings a cloud of smoke from the summer fires. Although it looks miserable I know people are going on with their lives. Eventually, the rain will come, the smog will fade, and once more the valley is restored to its beauty.
Our lives are full of these moments when the thick fog of adversity surrounds us. Yet, somehow we adapt. We plow ahead and move forward with our lives as best we can. We choose how we are going to handle such a crisis. We have within each us the ability to transform our wounds into wisdom.
“If you’re going through hell, keep going,” said Winston Churchill. And from the brilliant Jazz pianist Duke Ellington, “A problem is a chance for you to do your best.”
Most of us are in the midst of hard adversity right now. As one who is struggling each day to carry on, may I humbly assure you that God, our Heavenly Father, will send the rain so that each of us might recognize the beauty in our lives.
Paul and Family :)
ReplyDeleteI pray for you daily and know how mindfull the lord is of this health trial in your life I know he will bless and guide you always.
Your strength is more than amazing and your power with your music is beyond messure.
Know that even though we have never meet the lord has asked us to pray for another and thats what I will do for you daily.On my blog I have asked other to pray for you my dear brother, stay strong and hold tight to that beautiful wife and oh so adorable daughter of yours.
Love always, The Max family in Clovis, ca fresno 7th WARD
www.maxfamily4.blogspot.com
This is a very profound and inspiring post, Paul. And I love the family picture. Thanks for the encouragement. And know that we continue to pray for you, your family, the medical team, and the people who will eventually give you a heart. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. You are such an inspiration to me. I love to read your thoughts. They are beautiful reminders to me of the things I am or at least should be learning in my own daily trials. The Lord did promise "beauty from the ashes" didn't He! I pray for you always.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless!
Another BEAUTIFUL family photo! Paul, there are so many praying. God has given you a platform to share His grace and strength through your heartache. Not one you would have chosen, I know, but one that He will use mightily! May His strength be perfected in your weakness!
ReplyDeleteYou have such a beautiful inspiring family. I see such love and hope in all of your eyes and I love looking at pictures of the three of you together. My mom used to say, "Keep on keepin' on." That's what we wish for you, that you will have all the strength, support, endurance, and hope you'll need to get you through this really hard time.
ReplyDeleteOne of the greatest lessons we learned while we were in the PICU waiting for Ben's heart transplant is the simple lesson that yes we know we won't be given any trials that we can't make it through, but we're not supposed to try to make it through them alone. We need our loved ones' support and especially the love and mercy of our Savior. That's why we believe your little family will come through this just fine. Our prayers are still with you all. Keep smiling. Ü
Your family is BEAUTIFUL!!!! I love this post! I feel like we are living before the fog, but we know the fog is coming. Owen is home, doing okay, but soon that will end. We will be living in the hospital, waiting for his heart. I will be seperated from my family so that I can remain by my baby's side. The FOG will be there, and I'm sure it will be thick at times. I KNOW that Heavenly Father will send the rain when I need it most.
ReplyDeleteWe continue to pray for you!!!
Thank you for sharing the
ReplyDeletelovely family portrait.
I hope and pray you will be "singing in the rain" and dancing with your beautiful girls really soon.
Remember God's timing is always perfect :)
Paul,
ReplyDeleteThank you for reminding me I need to see the light in everything. I pray for you and your family daily!
Tracey Wootton
Beautiful family and beautiful post. You always put things into perspective for us all. Even though you're in the valley right now, you sure look at the positives in all of it. The gratitude and faith you have inspires so many. Thank you for sharing your love of our Savior and your remarkable faith. Hang in there~ we're praying for you!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Katie & Maddie (HRHS)
Paul, I dont know if you remember me, we went to Elementary school together, Mindy Lavigne. Anyways, I just wanted to tell you what an incredible inspiration you are to me. Our family is also going through some tough times right now. Thank you for the perspective. What a blessing you are.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I needed to hear that right now.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful family photo and profound words. Praying for you daily.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful family. Beautiful post. Thanks, Paul, for inspiring us to live with more courage and wisdom. We love you!
ReplyDeleteThanks Paul for the wonderful reminder.
ReplyDeleteI had a dream the other night that you got your new heart. I hope that is not too weird that someone you have never met in person is dreaming about your heart transplant. :)
Beautiful family photo.
Hugs & lots of Prayers,
Christina
Jacob's Momma
That picture is priceless... the way your wife has her hand on your chest--- so beautiful!
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to tell you we're praying for you and hoping a new heart comes SOON!
If you haven't yet, read Elder Holland's "Lessons from Liberty Jail" article in the Sept. Ensign. It is fantastic. The last few paragraphs are so inspiring!
Thank you for being such an example of endurance.
Julie Sivley, mom to heart girl, Hannah 7 years old... she's praying for you too!
Hi, Paul,
ReplyDeleteI love this!
You and your cute family are in my prayers.
God bless!
P.S. This reminded me a little of JoDee Messina's song, "Bring on the Rain"
"It’s almost like the hard times circle ‘round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing - but I’m not dead
Tomorrow’s another day
And I’m thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain"
that is tearfully beautiful! thank you for always being an inspiration, even through the fog.
ReplyDeletechristina
Years ago I was privileged to sit next to an ailing Stake Patriarch in a Priesthood Meeting. He had been asked by the Stake President to bear his testimony after being released from the hospital where he had been close to death for weeks.
ReplyDeleteHe rose and briefly described his experience, and then made the following statement that I have never forgotten- “I am no longer afraid of dying. I understand death now.” He stopped; tears filled his eyes and his lips quivered for some moments. He concluded simply by saying, “Heavenly Father loves us so much”. He then sat down. I don’t know about anyone else there, but the impact of his testimony on me was monumental. Three weeks later he passed away.
As a consequence of my profession I have faced death and dying every day for over 25 years – and I can tell you I am still afraid of it. The desire to live is unquenchable – and our eternal nature wants ever so much to not leave anything undone. However, the words of this wonderful Patriarch give me great comfort as I move forward every day in the face of my fear of death.
I pray earnestly that you will grow old with your beautiful family, and that perhaps the insight offered by this Stake Patriarch will be of similar comfort as you do.
Thank you so much for this post. We have been living in a fog for the last 3 years, with so many times when it seems that it is clearing only to become all mucky and yucky again.
ReplyDeleteNow being no exception. However I am stronger. Our family is stronger.
We all weather these storms together and my heart aches that you can't be home with your family right now.
Know that you are always in our thoughts and prayers.
The Bird Family
Thank you so much for this post. We have been living in a fog for the last 3 years, with so many times when it seems that it is clearing only to become all mucky and yucky again.
ReplyDeleteNow being no exception. However I am stronger. Our family is stronger.
We all weather these storms together and my heart aches that you can't be home with your family right now.
Know that you are always in our thoughts and prayers.
The Bird Family
I have been following your blog for several months and I am continually amazed by you. I am an active LDS woman living in Va. We have a 9month old girl with HLHS, and it was refreshing to find your uplifting and faithful comments about something so personal to me. You have given me strength to handle our situation, and I just needed to say thank you. I had been desperately looking for other LDS people who were in our same boat. You have been a person who at times has helped my smog to fade. I pray for you everyday. The Lord is truly merciful and will make of us more thatn we could ever imagine. Thank you so much for your faithfulness. It has meant the world to me and my family. May the Lord continue to bless you.
ReplyDeleteMandy
Carepages:Tiptoe
You and your family are truly a blessing. Thanks for sharing your story..your thoughts, your fears, and your journey with us all.
ReplyDeleteI can only hope that our heart baby boy has a life as full and wonderful as yours...that he finds the perfect wife, has a beautiful princess...and touches the lives of so many.
We will keep your family in our prayers.
Kathy Roller
http://rollersinvegas.blogspot.com
I hope you don't mind, but I just did a post about you on my blog this morning. I am in awe over you, your music, your faith.
ReplyDeleteEach day I open your blog, hoping to find that your heart has come finally.....but truly knowing you have already have a heart that so obviously understands more than most could ever know.
ReplyDeleteYour life, music and faith are a constant postive affirmation for me that there is good in all.
Always praying for your heart to come......
Paul I don't know how you do it everyday, but you are a great inspiration to me. Thank you for your words.
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful picture of your family! My GOd grant you many more years full of smiles and hugs like those in you picture. Praying daily for healing for you!
ReplyDeletePaul,
ReplyDeleteBeautiful photo of Lynette, you and Miss Eden; beautiful!
I think of you and your sweet family when Edgar Allan Poe's quote comes to mind, "Never to suffer would be never to have been blessed."
What courage and strength you clothe yourself in daily. May you all continue to be enveloped in the warmth of His Love.
I love the message in your post! I feel like it was written for my benefit today! Still praying for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteMason's Mommy
I needed to hear this today. I have been down about our daughter Ellie's health. She has severe cardiomyopathy due to CHD. I appreciate the comforting words at this time. We saw many a miracles during her nine months that need to be recognized. I hope and pray that you can get your heart. We are hoping that Ellie's function can get better so she can keep her own heart. Thankyou Becca
ReplyDeletethanks for this wonderful post ! i hope the Lord brings your rain soon and mine too. :)
ReplyDeleteI have had an incredibly difficult time lately, probably the hardest every....today...you were again my source of hope, a reminder of why we have faith. You are talented not just musically, but in your words, your thoughts and oh the wonderful love you have for life!
ReplyDeleteYou again and again are in my prayers.....
Heart Hugs,
Lisa Butler
Mom to Lydia with Tricuspid Atresia
Cincinnati, Ohio
Dear Paul.............. I still have the letter you wrote to me in 2002, giving me and my family the hope that we needed when our son, Jonathan Nelson, underwent his Fontan procedure at PCMC. Five days after his surgery, we brought Jonathan home and he has been on the go ever since.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what made me get out of bed tonight and look you up on the Internet, but as I now see that you are in the hospital, I know that there is a higher power guiding me to share in the knowledge of who is the Master Conductor of our lives, and He has guided me back into your life at perhaps at a time when a reminder of our interconnection, and how we can help each other, is a good reminder indeed.
It is time for me to once again give you thanks for showing me a living example of what is possible to do with a heart condition such as yours and my sons'.
Jonathan maintains an oxygen saturation level around 87-88% and with that he has created a world of possibilities and success. Every year we go into the cardiac clinic for his check up, I hold my breath and walk out of there with gratitude overflowing. I know the journey your parents have been on wathching you grow into a man, as I am now on their path. I know, more than anything, that you are a child of God first. I recognize that my son is in His hands, just as yours must always know.
Jonathan is now 14. I cannot remember a time without him in our lives, and I cannot imagine a time without him. But as you so eloquently reference in you blogs, it is about moving forward and living one day at a time.
Prayers and blessings,
Scott, Gail and Jonathan Nelson
Paul I have met you twice, once when I was 20 and you did a fireside in Pocatello at the ISU institute building and then again when I was 25 and working for the NBC affiliate in Pocatello and we went to lunch. Both times I remember the great impression that you left upon me that I have never forgotten. You were so kind to take out time in your busy schedule to visit and share stories. I have since moved back to NC and I stopped by Mom's and found your blog on her laptop. My heart aches for you and your family, I had no idea that your life had taken you on this journey, but you are still smiling and sending out a sweet and inspirational message. Thank you! Thank you for sharing your life, thank you for sharing your musical talents, thank you being so willing to share your time so many years ago with a girl who was so lost and needed a little direction. My prayers are with you and your family. Godspeed friend.
ReplyDeleteLettie, Greensboro, NC
That was BEATIFUL!! I cut and pasted a small part of it that really inspired me and added it to my facebook profile. I added your name at the end, and I hope, oh I hope, you don't mind. I will pray that you feel light pour into your soul and that the rain will wash away your pain.
ReplyDeleteWe ♥ U !!!! And you are our hero, and even from the darkness that surrounds you, you radiate light to us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Just a fan, Melissa Kasparian
Thanks again for your uplifting words. Going through trials are never easy but with a great attitude like yours it makes it more tolerable. Darling family picture. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Thanks again for being an inspiration to those around you (and in the blogging world).
ReplyDeletePaul:
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU for this beautiful post. I needed to read that today. I've been living in that fog since our little Wyatt passed away 18 months ago. I'm trying to learn how to live with the heartache I continue to feel. All though it seems at times to be pouring rain I'm learning to find the beauty in this life. Thank you for reminding me of that. My prayers are with you and your sweet family at this time. I do know that Heavenly father does love us and helps us through the fog. Thank you for sharing your amazing strength. Praying for you, your wife and daughter!
Paul and family,
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if you read all your comments, but I heard that you finally received your heart. I was especially touched by your quote on this post by Winston Churchill. I've been on IV therapy for over 5 months and it's so easy to want to give up. Thanks for sharing your hope with the world.
Best wishes to you with your new heart.
A couple of years ago I happened upon one of your songs. It was playing online through Songs of the Sabbath. It was the song "Sweet Escape" - it literally spoke to my soul, and I wrote your name down, as to not forget the artist of this beautiful song.
ReplyDeleteThat began my search of your music and finding/buying several CD's.
It turns out- "songs of praise" has become my favorite, and I listen to it often, as I did earlier today, and then again every night while my husband and I fall asleep.
I can not tell you how much your music has helped me to remember my Savior, and to keep holding on. It also has offered me a release each time I hear your music, because I connect with every song in such a deep and personal way. I really don't feel that I have adequate words to describe the experiences I have had while loving your music.
Thank you so much, from the deepest part of me - for sharing your talents, faith and hope with the world.
If you've ever wondered if it has made a difference, a truely magnificent difference in ones life, please know- that it makes a difference in my life, almost on a daily basis. This is true, in every sense of the word.
It's tempting to say that I'm sorry for the pain and struggles you are going through, and while I do hope you recover well, and your new heart makes a home, I have come to realize through my own trials and pain, that I am grateful for everything in your life that inspires such beautiful, magnificent and honest music - music which speaks to the soul, so profoundly and unexpectedly.
I've often been considered a "black sheep" by others, and recently I realized just what that meant. As I wander constantly, sometimes far away from the flock, away from constant protection and guidance. I am offered something even better than my moments with the flock. I am offered a personal rescue by my Savior, as He comes to find me each and every time I wander away. He literally picks me up and carries me back to the fold, and each time He does this- I come to know Him in such a way that I never have before. My faith grows, and my knowledge of His Greatness, and my own nothingness without Him. There is nothing sweeter than being found, and rescued by Him. So this is how I am coming to know I must be grateful for all of my many physical and other trials.
And this experience, is what I feel, each time I hear your music.
You are indeed, a Man of God, a cherished soul and a humble servant. May others of us be more like you and like our Savior.
God Bless you and yours,
Marylinn R.