Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Irony in Life

Life is full of ironies. A prominent thoracic surgeon who was scheduled to do my procedure, and who has saved hundreds of kid's lives, has cancer and will be unable to return to the operating room. Our thoughts and prayers are with him and his family during this incredibly difficult time.

Another one of life's ironies is that my thoughts and prayers are constantly with a family whose husband; son, father, mother, wife, or daughter will be my donor. If I only knew who they were could I warn them? Could we stop whatever calamity is coming? This is a very sobering predicament. Like the young single mother who gives her child away to a married couple for adoption, there is an almost indescribable sacrifice, which takes place.

My wife works with babies fresh from Heaven while I have a friend who buried people for his profession until he sold his business. On and on it goes and the irony of life and death is fascinating, sobering, difficult, and mysterious.

Where do we find comfort in all of this? It's almost impossible for me to discuss such strange diversions in life without acknowledging my faith in a loving Heavenly Father who knows and understands all things.

A spiritual hero of mine and theologian leader Neil A. Maxwell wrote, "Irony is the hard crust on the bread of adversity. Irony can try both our faith and our patience. Irony can be a particularly bitter form of such chastening because it involves disturbing incongruity. It involves outcomes in violation of our expectations. We see the best laid plans laid waste."

He continues, "With its inverting of our anticipated consequences, irony becomes the frequent cause of an individual’s being offended. The larger and the more untamed one’s ego, the greater the likelihood of his being offended, especially when tasting his portion of vinegar and gall."

"Words then issue, such as Why me? Why this? Why now? Of course, these words may give way to subsequent spiritual composure. Sometimes, however, such words precede bitter inconsolability, and then it is a surprisingly short distance between disappointment and bitterness."

Maxwell further suggests, "Amid life’s varied ironies, you and I may begin to wonder, did not God notice this torturous turn of events? And if He noticed, why did He permit it? Am I not valued?"

"Irony may involve not only unexpected suffering but also undeserved suffering. We feel we deserved better, and yet we fared worse. We had other plans, even commendable plans. Did they not count? A physician, laboriously trained to help the sick, now, because of his own illness, cannot do so."

And finally, Neil Maxwell concludes, "In coping with irony, as in all things, we have an Exemplary Teacher in Jesus. Dramatic irony assaulted Jesus’ divinity almost constantly.

"For Jesus, in fact, irony began at His birth. Truly, He suffered the will of the Father “in all things from the beginning.” This whole earth became Jesus’ footstool, but at Bethlehem there was “no room … in the inn” and “no crib for his bed”

"At the end, meek and lowly Jesus partook of the most bitter cup without becoming the least bitter. The Most Innocent suffered the most. Yet the King of Kings did not break, even when some of His subjects did unto Him “as they listed.” Christ’s capacity to endure such irony was truly remarkable."

"You and I are so much more brittle. For instance, we forget that, by their very nature, tests are unfair."

A scripture reads something like, "I do not know the meaning of all things? But, I know that God loves His children."

And another which provides great comfort says, "The spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life...those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow."

Often, in my mind flow the words of another spiritual hero, Joseph Smith, who wrote, "I am like a huge, rough stone rolling down from a high mountain; … knocking off a corner here and a corner there. Thus I will become a smooth and polished shaft in the quiver of the Almighty."

All of my life's challenges and mountains to climb have brought me closer to my family and to God. I would not trade them for all the money in the world. These things are difficult and discouraging at times but there is much greater suffering in the world than my own. And through it all I am comforted knowing that God is my friend.

Visit my blog titled My Faith in Jesus


Read the full sermon "Irony: The Crust on the Bread of Adversity" by Neil A. Maxwell

23 comments:

  1. That same prominent surgeon who was scheduled to do your procedure is our sons surgeon. He has done all 3 of his open heart surgeries, thanks to this INCREDIBLE doctor, we literally owe our sons life to him. Today he turns 8 and has lived life to it's fullest, despite his HLHS. This amazing surgeon who now fight's for his life is our hero! It was extremely upsetting to find out what he is dealing with and to think about how much time he has sacraficed away from his family to save the lives of so so many, and yet we can do nothing to save his. All is in the hands of our wonderful God, if we could just trust him a little more and lean on the comforting peace and happiness our Saviour can bring.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have to say 1 Ne. 11:17 to myself at least once a week.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Paul,
    What a lovely post. Elder Maxwell is such an amazing man. I love reading his talks and insights.

    You too are amazing in your faith and outlook. I hope you know what an inspitation you are to others around you.

    Hoping a heart is matched soon!
    Melissa - IHH

    ReplyDelete
  4. wow! What an amazing post! Thank you for sharing, and may the Lord bless you and your family.

    Tami Peterson

    ReplyDelete
  5. Paul,
    You are amazing! Thanks for the food for thought. May you be blessed as you wait for a heart.
    Praying for you,
    Ann Stewart (Grandmother of Alex Stewart-HLHS-Transplant-2008)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Paul I just want to thank you for your support. I also wanted to tell you that we were actually in the waiting room at Primarys waiting to see one of Maggies cardiologists and you were there. I'm not really sure if you remember seeing us. But just thought that was interesting. Anyway we really do appreciate your support.
    You also have such amazing faith. This is one thing that I struggle with especially since having Maggie with so many problems. It always helps me feel so much better when I read about other people who are going through things and I guess just have so much faith that things are going to work out. I don't really know how to explain it. Its like you just trust god so much! Anyway its something that I try to understand (why my daughter is so sick) but just have a hard time with. Its all very confusing to me. So anyway thank you for letting us follow your journey.

    ReplyDelete
  7. My mind has been reflecting on this very subject for some time now. Perhaps it's because I have seen in my own life how certain turns of events that troubled me, throw things off or came completely unexpected were part of a much larger picture, and I have learned that not only was God with me at that moment but keenly aware of the fine details of my life and "that event" was a key turning point for something much more needful. I know God is in the details of our lives. It never ceases to amaze me!!

    That quote you found by Elder Maxwell is so perfect, the quote about the irony of a physisian who becomes ill. That's a tender mercy right there.

    Elder Holland said, "Man's extremity is God's opportunity"

    Years ago I saw this on a hallmark card and see so often in my own life how very true this is:

    "I asked God for strength, that I might achieve.
    I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey...
    I asked for health, that I might do great things.
    I was given infirmity, that I might do better things...
    I asked for riches, that I might be happy.
    I was given poverty, that I might be wise...
    I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men.
    I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God...
    I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.
    I was given life, that I might enjoy all things...

    I got nothing I asked for but everything I had hoped for.
    Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
    I am, among men, most richly blessed!
    - Roy Campanella

    ReplyDelete
  8. P.S. My husband and I will fast for you again this Sunday.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Paul -
    Thank you for the amazing words. I am the mom of a 25yr old, Jeremy, with your same defect. He had his original Fontan at the age of 3yrs and a "redo" Fontan at the age of 14 here in Phoenix. You and your beautiful family are in our prayers and thoughts. You are an inspiration to us. God Bless!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Paul,

    Thank you so much for your courage, your music, and your words. You truly have been an inspiration and I trust in the best for you.

    God Bless you and your family...

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am horrified at what is happened to Dr. H. He saved Jaxsons life like he saved so many others. He was supposed to be at a meeting about Jax a few weeks ago and he wasn't there, at the time I didn't know why. He is the only one I trust with my sons heart. And I can't believe this is happening to such a great man, I'm deeply saddened. And I can't believe how you must feel knowing that to have your life saved means someone else's is lost.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Paul,

    Thank you! Thank you for sharing your journey. Although my family does not face the challenges that you and many of your followers do, I need to say Thank You. My husband and I have four beautiful boys. Three of the four have congenital eye conditions that will one day take all of their sight. As I read each of your posts my heart fills with the Spirit and I am once again grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who will never, ever forsake us. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Inspired. Thank you! I have been struggling with some of the same ironies lately and I sure needed this today.

    Our prayers continue for you and your family!
    Michele

    ReplyDelete
  14. Paul,
    You do not know who I am, but I know who you are. If you remember who Brandi Anderson is, well I am a good friend of her. I am very sorry to hear about your heart problems. I hope that you get a new heart soon! GOD BLESS YOU!

    -Allison

    ReplyDelete
  15. Paul,
    I am not sure if you know that when you click the "donate" button it is not directing to donate to your fund. I wanted to inform you so that you can correct it so that people can donate {I can only give a small amount, but indeed wanted to do something for you}.

    You can email me at vivfla1@mac.com if you have any questions.

    -Vivian

    ReplyDelete
  16. You have such faith and your insights are inspiring. I have read a few of your posts but haven't left a comment yet. We are also members of IHH. Our son Carter was born one year ago with an ASD, VSD, PDA and Down Syndrome. We have traveled a road we were not expecting at all, but are grateful to have met so many wonderful people and families. We will keep you in our prayers and hope a heart becomes available soon.

    Kristi

    ReplyDelete
  17. Dr. H was my son's surgeon also. I was surprised at how I couldn't put my feelings about his situation into words. You said for me what I couldn't say for myself. This man saved my son's life. He gave my little girls their big brother. He gave us hope when we needed it.

    I am so sad for him and his family. It is so ironic that a man who has saved so many children is having to go though something so difficult. We are so grateful that our lives crossed with his on this earth. I know that Heavenly Father works his miracles through people here, and Dr. H was definitely instrumental in our personal miracle.

    Thank you for giving me the words I couldn't find.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I love your music and our family hopes daily for blessings for your family.

    I just wanted to tell you that words contained in this post have answered some deep and heartfelt prayers of mine lately, and I want to thank you for writing them.

    I know many people are praying for you. My girls love to dance around to your "Primary" CD. We have our own little Eden, and I often think of what your family is going through when I see them dancing and being uplifted by such beautiful compositions.

    Sorry this is a rather personal note, but I just wanted to say thank you! I think that, so often, our adversities are a way of blessing others somehow, as you and your family are blessing many people right now.

    Prayers are with you!

    ReplyDelete
  19. You do not know me and I happened on to your site. I am the mother of a young man who died. It was at that quick moment when I said yes to organ donation that his life began again. This time it was thru someone elses eyes, tissue and bones. It is not something I ever expected to do in my life, but I also never thought he was anything but a gift from God. I needed to share him with others. He had helped many people, 1 in Michigan and 1 in Indiana can see better now because of him, They were not people he ever knew or would know. It is not the hardest thing to do, because to have to let go and say good bye was the hardest thing and yet God gave me the strength to share his life with others. I will never know the names of the people that benefited from his donation but if I could tell them one thing it would be to know that God granted me the strength to say "yes" and share the gift that I received so that maybe your life would be that much better. Good luck to you, what an amazing person and family.....patience...God knows.

    ReplyDelete
  20. We are also so sad about Dr. Hawkins. He saved our son's life several times, very spiritual experiences. He was supposed to perform the Fontan on my 11 year old son 2 weeks ago. We are now waiting until the surgery dept. gets back on their feel. My son had a cath instead of the Fontan, 2 caths in 5 weeks. Dr. Day ballooned an artery and it is making a huge difference. Pink Lips! My prayers are always with you and your wait for a heart. Your music has calmed my heart and blessed my family. I think you for your the peace your beautiful music has brought into our home.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Karen in IllinoisMay 6, 2009 at 8:24 PM

    Someday when we have the perfect language I will be able to describe how much I love your music. I listen to it each Sunday and as I prepare for lessons. Your Book Of Mormon piece is so haunting and sad and rich and hopeful and like a voice of warning yet reflective of deep testimony. How is that possible. I don't know. It just is. Gone Home makes me fly. What a beautiful gift you have given us. How is it possible that I'm on earth at the same time and get to hear this? I'm so very lucky. Much love and prayers and blessings to you and your beautiful family.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I've kind of thought your name is ironic. Well, "cardio" means heart, right? And Cardall is kind of like shorthand for all heart. Irony? Anyway, thanks for sharing more uplifting insights. I love Neal A. Maxwell, specifically. I've always appreciated his literary genius and his spiritual depth.

    ReplyDelete