A Bike and Answers to Prayer

In addition to this new entry please come back on Friday for a very special announcement!

One of the last e-mails I received from my brother Brian who tragically died this past summer wrote to me, “I am excited to see what you accomplish with 100% capacity post transplant! Maybe we should get you a road bike or some skis or something.”

Photo: I'm wearing a mask in public because of the amount of immunosuppressant drugs I am taking to prevent organ rejection. So far all testing shows I have little if any rejection.

In the pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) as I recovered from an beautifully orchestrated surgery I noticed I had never felt so alive. Blood was flowing through my body and I could feel it giving new life and energy to my soul. With an ambitious spirit I said to my wife, “I am going to get a bike and ride around like a silly little boy.” Doctors advised me to wait 6-8 weeks for my sternum to heal.

I was anxious to buy a bike but my family kept telling me not to go out and buy one yet because my sister in law Anna had a connection with one of the local bicycle shops. We spoke over the phone. I mentioned to her what Brian had said to me in one of his last e-mails. She said, “I know just what you need and what Brian would have gotten for you.” I trusted her instinct.

As I anxiously awaited word, I set aside some money I had been saving to help pay for my new joy ride.

Photo: Following Eden on a bike ride at sunset

The other night as my family gathered at my parent’s home. It was a beautiful evening with the leaves changing colors. My mom said, “Let’s go outside while the weather is still good.” I said, "I’ll be out in a few minutes." I was transferring some video my dad had taken of Eden and me up the canyon.

I walked outside to find everyone smiling. I looked towards them and saw a beautiful black road bike lying up against a chair on the grass where my sister in law Anna was standing. She had found me a bike.  And this was not your average bike.

I could barely contain myself I was so excited. Then, my heart was overwhelmed with emotion when she told me, “It's Brian’s bike. He used to ride this thing around like a silly little boy going off jumps.” I had no idea my brother had a bike. He never told me about it and there are no photos. Overcome with joy, I asked, "What do I pay you for this?" She was insulted and said, “I’m not going to sell you Brian’s bike. It’s yours. He wants you to have it.” Thank you Anna.

We all miss my brother.

Now that I’m alive and recovered, I think about Brian’s death each day. I remember sobbing like a child over his casket with oxygen tubes in my nose. Many of my tears are buried with him.

Since his tragic death I have asked our Heavenly Father, the creator of all things, in humble prayer, “Why Brian? Why not me? I’m the sick one. He’s thriving. He’s amazing. He has plenty of time to do many many great things.” I carried this with me until the day the call came a heart had become available.

In the quiet moment of night, prior to my life-threatening surgery, came the tender impression from our Father in Heaven, which said to me, “I need him.” Comfort filled the room and my body experienced a powerful sense of peace and solace. My old heart burned and felt empowered. Then I felt another impression say to me, “I need you here.”

I have no doubt, when all is said and done, and I’m finished with what I want to do here, I will join my brother in the afterlife.

Photo: Brian Cardall helping his daughter Ava learn to walk

 Each of us, you and me, has a purpose or destiny. You have talents, gifts, a personality and characteristics, which should enable you to accomplish a lot of good in this world and in the next. We have within us the love, service, and selfless acts of kindness, needed to strengthen our marriages, families, community, and the world.

I know Brian is alive and doing special things. I’m sure he finds time to ride a bike, climb mountains, re-unite with old family, observe the stunning new colors of the flowers and nature, ask a lot of questions, and associate with those he hasn’t seen in many years.

I believe my brother has been with God, felt of His comforting embrace, and heard the song of redeeming love. I believe this is the same for the millions upon millions.

I realize these thoughts and answers are deep or heavy. Where do I get this information and confidence?

Artwork: Lost and Found by Greg Olsen (official link)

According to my LDS faith there is scripture which provides me with a comforting answer regarding this sensitive subject, “Behold, it has been made known unto me (The Prophet Alma) by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil are taken home to that God who gave them life… And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.” (Alma 40:11-12, The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ)

Every time I get on Brian’s bike and ride around like a silly little boy I’ll be reminded of our relationship. It will last beyond this world because life is eternal made possible by Jesus, the Creator of all things. Coming to earth is part of a great plan. We've come to get a body, learn how to control it, overcome addictions, and return home to the God who gave us life to continue in assisting the millions of those who are struggling to find their way back home.

As I regain my strength, I will try to continue to do here what I believe Brian is doing in a world of spirits, which is offering hope to people.

What do people need? They need kindness. They need to know they are not alone. They need to know there are those who love them. They need to know in their hearts our Heavenly Father, the supreme being, knows their names and you can talk to Him in a prayer by yourself in a quiet place in your home or car. He will listen.

When I am at home with my daughter and she's in another room with her eyes closed. She can't see me, but she knows I'm there.

As the saying goes, “A man or woman will never stand taller than when he or she is on their knees” in prayer seeking help, strength, and answers to life’s most challenging questions.

To my dear brother Brian and his beautiful wife Anna, their new baby Bella Aspen and toddler Ava Sky, thank you for the bike! I'll ride it like a silly boy!