Before My Heart Stops Reviewed

"Book is a powerful message of faith, love and enduring through life's challenges." -Hikari Loftus, Deseret News.

A section of the review: "For someone to read this, they may think, 'He's got a lot of high expectations and hope. He's overconfident. He thinks that he can make any miracle happen. He has this faith to heal from the transplant.' The truth is, I can't really explain my faith or the will to survive without anyone knowing about my parents or my heritage because I'm a product of my parents and my ancestors who struggled to come to Utah. All that strength and faith, it's been passed down through generations and I'm just one of the products of their hard work," Cardall says.

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A Perfect Test and a Historic Climb

The lab results came back really good according to my transplant team who had me undergo the official "1 year out" transplant tests.

Doctors did a routine biopsy where they inserted a long thin instrument through the jugular vein in my neck and removed a small piece of heart tissue from my right ventricle to test for any sign of rejection. While I was on the operating table for the biopsy doctors also inserted another long thin instrument through the femoral artery in my right groin and shot some dye into the chambers of my heart to check for pressures and other helpful things. This is called a cardiac catheterization.

The following day I got on an airplane to Houston for the event with families affected by Congenital Heart Disease. Obviously, these procedures are critical and dangerous but most folks are back to work and responsibilities. We've come very far in how with medical technology and helping people feel hardly any pain.

More than ever, I am continuing to enjoy the mountains where altitude sickness used to keep me from the high altitudes. I'm fly fishing, hiking a trail, or camping overnight. I continue to look back on my journey up mount Olympus with family and friends in honor of my brother Brian.

Lately, I've been sharing this video with people when I go out and speak. I thought it only appropriate to share it here and I encourage you to listen to the words of the song from Kutless.

New Heart Restores Childhood

New life restores childhood dreams.



Having once been unable to endure exercise at high altitudes, I've grabbed up every opportunity to take off with friends into the mountains and on the streams.

This was the perfect scenario this past weekend as I took a break from my book tour to be with cousins and an uncle in beautiful British Columbia on the Chilliwack River.



Catching and releasing a Chum Salmon or Dog Salmon



My cousin Tyler. I watched him bring in Silver Salmon all day long.



There's nothing like breathing pristine mountain air while watching the sunlight dance on the rippling waters at first dawn and later seeing the light fade into shades of orange as the sun slowly moves across the western horizon and hide's his face.

Second Life

Looking out of my Marriot hotel room window I see an air-med helicopter take flight off the roof of Methodist Hospital. In the distance stands Texas Children’s Hospital known as one of America’s top 10 pediatric hospitals. Everywhere I go in this section of downtown Houston people are wearing scrubs, nice suits, and appear to be headed to an important meeting. I see a curiosity and determination in these faces to make a difference in the lives of families affected by illness.

Last evening as part of my book tour I met with a several families affected by congenital heart disease as well as a few close friends living in Houston. We shared our stories and discussed advancements in medical technology, surgical options, faith in God, and our gratitude for the facilities helping to keep our children alive or their kindness in helping us through the loss of our children.

One mother shared her love for her son Byron who has numerous complications associated with his heart, lungs, trachea, and other parts of his body. She has spent a lot of time at her sons bedside. Her son statistically should not be alive. After undergoing a wide range of surgical procedures Byron is alive and a wonderful blessing to his mother and older brother. She said with great faith, “He’s my miracle. With God all things are possible.”

I echo her statement.

On the flip side I continue to meet so many parents who have lost children and wonder why there was no miracle with their child. This is a very good question.

Shortly after my heart transplant I had a conversation with my anesthesiologist. He is a man of faith. He said, “Medical diagnosis and statistics often tells us whether a child is going to live or die as a result from surgery. Too often, no matter how well we operate the child expected to survive goes into cardiac arrest or has some other complication causing the death to happen unexpectedly. Whereas, too often when our diagnosis and statistics tells us there is no way a child should make it through the surgery and yet they miraculously make it, we are ever more convinced that someone else, some divine power is clearly in charge of our lives.” His statement has given me great comfort because even most medical personnel are convinced God exists. They see His work happen in the hospital room. This also comforts me because I believe He is there to take that child home with Him for a greater purpose.

Artwork by David Bowman

Last September, as I was wheeled off to a surgical procedure doctors were determined to do all they can to remove an old enlarged scarred heart struggling to beat inside my chest giving me life. It was challenging. Odds were not in my favor. I was not expected to survive. Surgeons operated anyways. At some point during this sobering event the heart that had kept me alive for 36 years finally stopped and was removed from my body. Technically, I died. However, for some reason God gave me permission to stay and through his children operating in that room with all of their talents and inspired gifts, I was granted a second life.

Some go. Some stay. Ultimately, it is love that is stronger than death. Love can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love. It can’t take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death. I believe life continues after death and our loved ones become a great motivator from the other side.

Does Getting Someone's Heart Change your Personality?

So, I sold my "lemon" BMW with my old heart and with the new heart bought a big Toyota tundra truck. With a truck, I stopped listening to Coldplay and now I can't get enough country music from Jamey Johnson, so what is going on? Is this really me?

According to a research study from Quality Life Research, Heart transplantation is not simply a question of replacing an organ that no longer functions. The heart is often seen as source of love, emotions, and focus of personality traits.

To gain insight into the problem of whether transplant patients themselves feel a change in personality after having received a donor heart, 47 patients who were transplanted over a period of 2 years in Vienna, Austria, were asked for an interview.

Photos: Taking my daughter Eden fishing for the first time months ago

Three groups of patients could be identified: 79% stated that their personality had not changed at all postoperative, meaning after the transplant surgery. In this group, patients showed massive defense and denial reactions, mainly by rapidly changing the subject or making the question ridiculous.

Fifteen per cent stated that their personality had indeed changed, but not because of the donor organ, but due to the life-threatening event.

Six per cent (three patients) reported a distinct change of personality due to their new hearts. These incorporation fantasies forced them to change feelings and reactions and accept those of the donor.

Verbatim statements of these heart transplant recipients show that there seem to be severe problems regarding graft incorporation, which are based on the age-old idea of the heart as a center that houses feelings and forms the personality. 1

I don't believe my personality has changed although I have been greatly influenced by circumstances surrounding my transplant, which includes a more adventurous life.

Even though I only had a single ventricle I experienced all the joys of childhood. I was fortunate because my heart defect didn't limit me or at least I didn't think so.

I loved the outdoors which included; camping, fishing, hiking, and hunting. My extended family gathered every summer in the mountains of Wyoming and periodically we'd stay at a cabin in the Uintahs. I learned to Ski and looked forward to each snow fall. I was an Eagle Scout and had earned the coveted Mile Swim badge.

However, this adventurous life was taken from me in my fourteenth year after getting a bacterial infection in my heart. This required a difficult surgery. The following year I had reconstructive heart surgery. Because of the circumstances I lost the energy I once knew. Exercising in high altitudes caused me severe nausea. I quickly learned skiing, hiking, and some of the other things I enjoyed was not possible. It was all a memory for me and I often experienced deep nostalgia and sadness.

I adapted to my new life. Unlike before the reconstructive surgery, crowds now bothered me and I often felt claustrophobia. I turned inward, often felt shy, and learned to enjoy other things. I discovered music, art, writing, and found great purpose in sharing my talents. Eventually, I became more active in school and later the community. Yet, I still missed an active outdoor life.

Then came the heart transplant.

When you're dying you wonder what the possibilities would be if you only had a second chance. I began thinking of all the things I would like to do or try with a four chamber heart.

I made a list. Most of the list involved recreating the memories of my childhood for my girl Eden.

It's been over a year since the transplant and I am finding myself with different tastes in music, art, and how I like to spend my time.

I am free from tubes and illness. My mind is free from thinking I might be leaving this world. I am excited for each new day and dread evenings and sleep.

With each new day, and if there is any personality influence it would be because of my love and respect for two people who have passed on to the other side. One is my donor and the other my younger brother.

My fondest memories of my brother, are times sitting around an evening campfire and waking up so freezing cold in October Brian and I weren't sure if it was worth it to get up to hike the hills. Maybe his influence in my life is what drives me to embrace everything in the natural world?

I think about my donor everyday. Because I didn't know him I'm not sure I have any of his personality traits, but I know he was extremely active and healthy. He loved being outdoors and made friends easily. He enjoyed crowds.

Am I different? Has my personality changed because of my heart transplant? No. But, I believe we are always learning, growing, and gravitating towards new things and old habits. And we are influenced by those we love and those we admire.

I embrace my donor as my own brother and experience the same grief in losing him as I did in losing Brian. Until I am with them, they are welcome to live through me.

1 (B. Bunzel, B. Schmidl-Mohl, A. Grundböck and G. Wollenek, Quality of Life Research, Volume 1, Number 4, 251-256, DOI: 10.1007/BF00435634) Read the Full Article

Cook Children's

Photo: Cook Children's in Ft. Worth, Texas

Last fall, when I was living in Primary Children's Medical Center my surgeon came into my room and we talked about my upcoming heart transplant surgery. With an IV tube into my right arm, oxygen around my face, and other devices surrounding me, I was dying.

Doctor Kaza said something to the extent, "When a heart becomes available, I will work on you as though you were my own brother." This gave me great comfort and strengthened my resolve to survive. Then he gave me counsel. "While you're here among these sick children get out and meet them," he said. "You can give them hope."

As I followed the doctors advice I not only found great happiness in getting to know other patients and their parents, but these patients with all of their challenges and great attitudes inspired me and gave me hope. Their parents made me appreciate all that my own had done for me in sitting by my bedside all those years.

Since that time, I am fortunate to visit other children's hospitals around the country. Last week, I was in St. Louis Children's and this week in Ft. Worth, Texas at Cook Children's Medical Center.