Lessons Learned

I'm continuing to learn beautiful things from the dying who believe in God. These humble people, who have had no choice but to become reliant on the help of others, have a tender innocence that only comes to those who recognize this life is not all there is. These who walk the paths of suffering find strength within to adapt to their circumstances because they know life exists beyond the grave.

For myself, I came to know this truth in my own journey, which for me has become nothing more than a grand gift from a loving Father in Heaven. Through it all He taught me valuable lessons that can only be understood by those who seek to know His will for them.

Less than a week ago I visited a good friend of mine in the intensive care unit. Holly has been denied a heart transplant by various clinics across America because of additional complications associated with other issues in her body. She does not have long.

Photo: Holly & Quintin McKell
Visit Holly's CareBridge Page

Living with severe heart failure, Holly's body swells up with fluid and at times she looks 8 months pregnant. Doctors ordered a test to help relieve her of some of the bodily fluid. According to her family, as Holly was talking and laughing with nurses and doctors about her time in Australia with her husband her heart stopped for several minutes. Apparently, she died for several minutes until medical personal worked a miracle that put her into a temporary coma. She later woke up with some memory loss and confusion.

I entered Holly's room to see her smiling. There was a special feeling of love in the room as though unseen relatives from beyond the grave crowded her bedside. She was also surrounded by her living family including her loyal husband, parents, and two sisters. They are extremely supportive.

Photo: Spending time with Holly

Holly is teaching us important principles.

First, this is a beautiful woman who always smiles. Even if she tries to get mad she can't do it without smiling. It's almost contagious. She is quite obviously suffering from the various needles and procedures. Yet she can't seem to wipe that smile off her face. Smiling is a cure for the contentious spirit of selfish behavior. An optimistic glance from another human being makes those they come in contact feel valuable.

Secondly, this is a woman who knows and trusts her Heavenly Father, the Creator of this world. She has faith. Often we question God and wonder why this and why that? However, at this stage in Holly's life she is completely submissive to the Creator's will for her future.

Overall, this remarkable person has found comfort and strength amidst what the world would view as the end. This is where the world is wrong! Life is not the end and the smile on Holly's face and the light in her eyes reflect this truth.

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When my wife and I first moved into our ward or local congregation I remember attending the various meetings with a gentleman who was assigned to conduct the church hymns. Often he performed with a male quartet singing "Brightly Beams." As a fellow musician we've been friends and have had many conversations on music. Over the years he's dealt with cancer, the destructive enemy of the body. He knows the meaning of the word pain.

Weeks ago our neighborhood learned this kind man without guile is dying of end-stage cancer. He told me, "I'm fine. It's those around me that I worry about." Where does a man acquire such faith and peace? I believe it comes from years of loyalty to living principles of loving others unconditionally, sharing his time and talents to benefit others, and dedication to helping people.

Whenever I sing "Brightly Beams" I will think of my fellow musician friend who continues to spend his time helping others.

Brightly beams our Father’s mercy
From his lighthouse evermore,
But to us he gives the keeping
Of the lights along the shore.

Let the lower lights be burning;
Send a gleam across the wave.
Some poor fainting, struggling seaman
You may rescue, you may save.