Tuesday, November 10, 2009

My GrandDad

It is not a coincidence America is celebrating Veterans Day the same week my grandfather, Alan Layton, passed away. Leaving behind posterity of more than 100 people Grandpa is one of the last few surviving heroes to defend our nation from Hitler and save Europe from utter destruction in World War II. Certainly my grandfather was a major contributor to what former NBC News Anchor Tom Brokaw called, “The greatest generation any society has ever produced.”

Two months ago as I recovered in the pediatric intensive care unit after my heart transplant my grandparents came up to visit. My grandfather had been experiencing dementia in the last few years and occasionally forgot where he was although he acted like he knew what was going on. This is the difficult part in losing a grandparent, watching them grow old and seeing their vibrant spirit fade. He sat in a rocking chair holding his cane at the foot of my bed. I still had most of my tubes in and out of my body. My grandmother was so enthused by my pink lips she was overcome with emotion. She rubbed my feet at the end of my bed and was saying, "Look at your beautiful color." Meanwhile, my grandfather didn't look to happy she was rubbing my feet and quipped, "Don't rub that man's feet!" We laughed and reminded him she was taking care of her grandson.

My Grandfather’s own mother implanted in his heart a love for God and for other people. All you need in your life is a mother who loves you and you have within you the power to become a giant among men. His blood type was a model for his life “B+”. He was an optimist and believed anything was possible.


Aside creating one of the most successful construction companies in the Rocky Mountain region, Layton Construction, my grandfather spent most of his time with my grandmother building up a strong family loyal to one another.

When I was really young my grandparents bought a 2-acre garden with an intended purpose. Each Saturday grandpa gathered the family and taught us how to work the earth. Whether it was tilling, weeding, irrigating, planting seeds of all kinds Grandpa was busy teaching valuable principles of hard work. We enjoyed the blessings of our labor with plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables to circulate among our separate neighborhoods. He was teaching us the benefits service.

Having grown up in the depression and working since he was a child, Grandpa was deeply concerned about people going into debt. He taught, “Pay yourself. You worked for your money. Let your money work for you.” This meant save your money, put it in the bank, and let the interest work to make even more money.

Photo: With my grandparents after our marriage on April 11, 1997 - According to my LDS Faith the person marrying us dresses in white a symbol of purity and of God.

Twenty years ago President Gordon B. Hinckley of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints gave my granddad authority to marry couples in our temples. My wife and I were fortunate and blessed to be married by granddad in the beautiful Salt Lake City Temple. During our marriage ceremony my sweet grandpa gave us sound advice. He said, “Never go to bed angry at one another. Laugh if you have to. Work it out. You need to know what is in each other’s hearts. Tell each other everything.” He counseled us to make God a partner in our relationship. “The good Lord will help you in hard times and bring happiness to your home.”

The morning I was born on April 24, 1973 when my parents were told I probably would not make it because of a congenital heart defect my father picked up my granddad and headed to the hospital. Together they took me into a small room shortly before surgery and held a special prayer with all the faith they could muster. That blessing, that quiet humble prayer, has been vindicated time and time again.

In lieu of my brother’s tragic death on June 9, 2009 our family is grateful Grandpa now joins Brian in the afterlife. What a reunion! I can only imagine my brother anxiously awaiting his arrival with open arms into paradise. I’ll miss my grandfather. I know he'll care for my brother and thousands of others who need strong men of courage, integrity, devotion, and love.

The grief I'm experiencing is that an era has come to an end. The sadness is in the knowledge that none of us will ever be little again to enjoy the little things like working in the garden side by side with granddad, getting an ice cream out of his hands, fishing the Grey's River in Wyoming, or listening to his stories of building things, war, or the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Photo: My brother Brian holding his daughter Ava sitting with Grandpa

I’m grateful for this wonderful man, my granddad, Alan W. Layton, who devoted his life to creating nostalgic memories, which brought us closer together as a family and closer to God.

12 comments:

  1. Wow, you really have had to endure such loss in the past months, while gaining a new lease on your own life. As a daughter from a very military oriented family, I can tell he was a wonderful man who served his country, faith, and many people!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am sorry that you lost your grandfather this week. However, you made me laugh when he thought your grandmother was rubbing some other man's feet. Though maybe I shouldn't be laughing because he had dementia, but it made me smile none the less. I am sure he is with your brother.

    ReplyDelete
  3. How very touching this post was to me. I too have lost loved ones in my life. It can be very hard. You are a true warrior and a great man. I hope that life brings you great joy in the future, you truly deserve it. I'm sorry for your loss of 2 special people in your life.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Very sweet tribute! He sounds like he led an awesome life and has the posterity to carry on. Bless you...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Beautifully written! He will be so missed.

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a beautiful tribute.

    I am going to go call my 80+ year old Grandpa's now.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you for sharing your insights. As I raise my 5 little ones alongside my dear husband I will remember that though I am not perfect I can give my children " a Mother who loves them". I know the the peace you feel is a fruit of your strivings to live the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Thank you for the reminder. I just got the call from my Dad that his best friend Rudy Swarez just passed away of throat cancer. After a long battle the peace comes in knowing where they are going and who they go home to.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh Paul I am sorry you have another loss to handle. My Mom also had Dementia in the end and it was very painful and hard for me to understand. I will never forget when she forgot my Birthday for the first time in my life. Not understanding the disease then, I was hurt beyond belief. After she died I began to help the elderly and learned that it was beyond her control
    and I felt so bad I had been upset.
    Your Grandpa sounds like a wonderful man and he lives on in you as you share your words with us.
    I am so glad he got to see you get a new heart, He knew his life was complete then.
    God Bless your family during this sad time.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am so sorry for your loss! What a great tribute to your grandpa. May God Be with all of your family at this most difficult time.

    ReplyDelete
  10. What a wonderful tribute to a man that we should all be thankful for. I find myself these last few weeks calling my grandmothers phone number when I am trying to call someone else. These have been trying weeks for our family and I believe she is trying to tell me that she is here for me, if only in spirit.
    Isnt it wonderful to know that your brother will have your grandfather to keep him company again.
    Glad to see you are feeling stronger each day.
    Tami- Thatchers Treehouse

    ReplyDelete
  11. My heartfelt condolences on the passing of your grandfather. Clearly he was a wise, good man. I know you will miss him terribly.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Paul- just stopped by to look at your blog, got the link from MoSop, one of my all-time favorite blogs. I love your story-your music and your comments about your family. How wonderful that your Grandfather had the joy of officiating at your marriage- I like your explanation that he dressed in white representing the purity of the God sealing your vows.
    I will try to remember to check back and see how your journey is progressing. May you always know the presence of the great Shepherd of the sheep.

    John Paul Todd
    e4unity.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete